Football is back! Our patience is once again rewarded with the return of everyone’s favorite Sunday (and Thursday, and Monday) pastime. It’s been a long and eventful offseason, but we’re not here to reflect. This is all about the future. Let’s get the beer and wings ready and get primed for Week 1 of the NFL pre-season. They don’t count for anything, but at this point who cares. Football is back! Did I say that already? The GIF Weekly Primer will usually be a breakdown of the coming week’s matchups, major storylines, and thoughts on the previous week’s games. But seeing as there isn’t a last week to look back at, I’m going to use this as a very general first look at each team’s season. Including my early win/loss predictions that will almost surely be wrong. Hall of Fame Game – August 4 Miami Dolphins vs. Dallas Cowboys The Dolphins made an effort this offseason to get better, which is commendable. How much better, I don’t know. Obviously they improved at WR with the signing of Mike Wallace. We will have to wait to see if any chemistry develops between him and 2nd year QB Ryan Tannehill. The Dolphins made additions to a lot of areas of need. It will be interesting to see how they pan out. I think they’re moving in the right direction. But I don’t think they are serious contenders yet. My Bad Prediction: They’ll be little better than last year. I’ll go 9-7. The Cowboys had already suffered a season ending injury before some teams had even reported to camp. Not a good sign for a team that always has high expectation and never delivers. They weren’t big players in free agency, electing instead to lock up Tony Romo and Anthony Spencer. They have to hope they hit on their draft picks, otherwise they won’t be any better than they were last year. I’m not a believer in the Cowboys this year. My Bad Prediction: Another lackluster year for the Cowboys. I’ll say 7-9. What will it take for JJ to fire himself and his Golden Boy? 2 playoff wins, thank you very much. Thursday August 8 Baltimore Ravens vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers "MVP" means "Fu-Man-Chu" now The Ravens are obviously coming off of a Super Bowl win and an epically bad mustache, but this is far from the same team that won it all in February. Notable losses include Ray Lewis, Anquan Boldin, Ed Reed, Paul Kruger, and most recently Dennis Pitta to a season ending hip injury. It’s going to be very difficult for the Ravens to repeat last year’s success. I think they fall off, and Flacco shows he’s not exactly worth that huge contract extension. My Bad Prediction: A fall from grace for the reigning NFL champs. I’m saying 8-8 and miss the playoffs. Tampa Bay is an interesting team. The defense won’t have the ever-present Ronde Barber roaming the secondary for the first time in about 30 years. That will take some getting used to for everybody. Josh Freeman is reaching put up or shut up time in his career. It’s time he shows some improvement and takes that next step, or shows he can’t do it and force the Bucs to start planning for some other options. The addition of Darrelle Revis was kind of surprising to me. Can he still be the guy he was before, coming off a knee injury? Probably. But is the team good for it to really matter? Probably not. My Bad Prediction: Freeman doesn’t take any steps forward, and Glennon finishes the season as the starting QB. Revis is still great, but it doesn’t matter. 5-11 Cincinnati Bengals vs. Atlanta Falcons The Bengals feature what might be the most exciting QB-WR duo in the game with Andy Dalton and AJ Green. Green is a monster. If they continue to blossom together this team will be really really good. Dalton needs to improve his playoff performance, and I think he will get that chance again this year. The addition of Eifert and Bernand through the draft should help immensely. The only change on defense is the addition of James Harrison, which will obviously bolster that D. This team is on the upswing, and could be a real threat this year. My Bad Prediction: No huge changes from last year, but solid additions in some of the right spots will mean improvement. I’m going big on this pick, for no real reason. 12-4 for the Bengals. Tony Gonzalez is back in Atlanta for one final last ditch effort to sniff some Super Bowl grbutt. He was agonizingly close last year, and I don’t see them getting any closer this year. Roddy White and Julio Jones are at the top as far as a 1-2 punch as WR, and Matt Ryan is a top 10 QB. They swap Michael Turner for Steven Jackson which is a slight upgrade for now. The defense was a victim of the salary cap, losing some key veterans. They add Osi Uminyora, but that probably isn’t adding much. That, plus a young secondary could spell problems for the Falcons. My Bad Prediction: I don’t think they’ll be bad, but they won’t be as good as last year. 11-5 St. Louis Rams vs. Cleveland Browns The addition of Jake Long is a step in the right direction for this franchise, if he can prove he is healthy. Long, plus the drafting of WR Tavon Austin, show that the Rams are doing whatever they can to make Sam Bradford successful. If he isn’t successful this year, questions will start to pop up about if he really is as good as everyone seems to think. The running game is weaker with the loss of Steven Jackson, leaving the burden to 2nd year players Daryl Richardson and Isiah Pead. Yea, promising. A lot of the burden will fall on the defense, which more than likely can’t handle it. Strong at DE, but they have serious question marks in the secondary. My Bad Prediction: Another bad year for the Rams. Jeff Fisher is a good coach, but this isn’t a good team. 6-10, and questions about Bradford start to gain steam. "35 times" read "during any game ever" Lol @ Browns. I could stop there, really. I’m not a believer in Weeden, nor should anyone be. I am a believer in Brian Hoyer so I think he would be a good choice for this team, but that might be my Patriot bias. It might not matter who the QB is, because there’s really no one to throw to. Josh Gordon is good, Davone Bess could be reliable, but Greg Little drops everything. Does he have a kid? He probably dropped that too when the doctor handed it to him. It will be a challenge for Trent Richardson to prove he can stay healthy and produce, especially behind a bad offensive line. For some reason they felt the need to completely retool their defense, which was actually decent last year. So like I said… lol @ Browns My Bad Prediction: Terrible. Just Terrible. 3-13, and I deleted 2-14. Washington Redskins vs. Tennessee Titans The Redskins caught a lot of crap for their handling of Robert Griffin III(I refuse to use RG3. I’m so sick of that.) in their playoff loss last year. He’s proven to be resilient, though, and will be ready for week 1. Week 2 is still up in the air. As is every week after that. He needs to stay healthier than he was last year for this team to be taken seriously. On defense, Brian Orakpo and Adam Carriker make their returns after both were lost early last season. That will help a defense that was already pretty good. My Bad Prediction: A poor group of receivers could be their downfall. Griffin’s health will ultimately decide the team’s fate, though. Let’s go 10-6. Tennessee is heavily depending on Jake Locker to develop into a real franchise caliber QB. But on top of that, CJ2K has to actually be CJ2K. The odds of both of them playing at that high level are pretty low, but it's not impossible. Especially with a solidified offensive line. The defense could actually be pretty good. They added some much needed help at the safety position and shored up the defensive line. Ultimately, this team needs Locker to excel in order to be any good. I think they will be better than last year, although the record may not necessarily show it. 7-9 Denver Broncos vs. San Francisco 49ers The Broncos come off a very strong season featuring the return of Peyton Manning. The questions about his health are gone, he’s still the best ever, and this team is a Super Bowl contender. They added Wes Welker, the best slot receiver in the game. He seems like he would be the perfect fit for Manning. The loss of C Dan Koppen will hurt, but it’s not debilitating, especially since they added G Louis Vasquez in free agency. It seems the only question on offense is the running game. McGahee is gone, Moreno isn’t really any good, leaving it up to Montee Ball to step up and take that gig. The loss of Elvis Dumervil will hurt the defense, but it should still be serviceable. This team is set up to make a serious run. My Bad Prediction: They are better than last year, and last year they were really good. They should cruise to 14-2 or so. San Francisco is coming off a tough Super Bowl loss. Usually that means a disappointing follow up season, but I don’t see that happening. Assuming Kaepernick can find a 49ers jersery among all his Dolphins gear, he should be even better than last year. Crabtree’s absence will hurt, so he will have to find some other targets. Vernon Davis is still one of the best receiving tight ends in the league, but they will have to connect better than they did last year. The running game will surely be featured, which is cool because they have plenty of talent at RB. The defense should be as strong as ever, with a mean linebacker duo leading the way. This is a scary team. My Bad Prediction: If Krappernuts can click with the receivers he has, this will be a very tough team for anyone to beat. Definitely a favorite to go all the way. 13-3. Seattle Seahawks vs. San Diego Chargers Seattle was a surprise to many last year, but they won’t have that luxury this year. People expect them to be really good. Russell Wilson took the league by storm, giving the high pick QB golden boys a run for their money. Percy Harvin gives him a new weapon to play with, which is way more than what he had last year. Marshawn Lynch could be even better because defenses will have to gameplan for Harvin. The strength of this team is their defense, though. Cliff Avril and Michael Bennett were added to an already elite defense. That great secondary will benefit from the added pass rush. My Bad Prediction: This is a really good team. If Wilson doesn’t regress, they are contenders for the Super Bowl. 12-4 San Diego has been a very disappointing team for a long time. Phillip Rivers never took them where they thought he would, and his time to do that is probably over. Last year he looked bad. Poor pass protection doesn’t help, nor does the loss of Louis Vasquez. I just don’t see this team competing. Gates looks done, which is sad for me. I was a huge fan of his. The special teams can’t possibly be as bad as they were last year, but I don’t really think it will matter. Maybe I’ll be proved really wrong on this one, because if I remember correctly they were ranked #1 on offense and defense last year, or close to it. I just don’t see it happening this year. My Bad Prediction: The years of San Diego underachieving look like they’re over, only because people should stop expecting so much. 7-9 Friday August 9 New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles I think "Gronked" means his arm broke. Oh boy what a year to be a Patriots fan. I wish I had the balls to jump ship when they signed Teb… I’m not saying his name. Everyone made a big deal when Brady took “less money†for the sake of the team. Good thing he did that, otherwise we might have lost everyone that started on offense this year instead of just the top 5 receivers. I don’t see how this team will repeat last year’s success when their best player spends his off days in surgery, and their best acquisition will be waiting behind him to get his next MRI. And of course there will be the constant background noise from the Hernandez fiasco. Although I prefer that to Tebowmania. My Bad Prediction: Tom Brady will always keep his team above water, but he can only do so much. They’ll benefit from being in a pretty weak division. I’m saying 11-5. Let the Chip Kelly era begin. They made a lot of changes in the offseason, starting with the coaching staff. Kelly has no NFL experience, but all of his coordinators do. That should help. Mike Vick returns to the Eagles after many thought he was gone. He would fit the system Kelly ran in college, but many don’t think that would work in the pros. And Nick Foles is waiting in the wings to take that job when(not really “ifâ€) Vick gets hurt. Not to mention they released Nnamdi Asomugha, who was considered by some to be the best CB in the league before last year. They let DRC go too. The loss of Maclin for the year will hurt, but I still think they can make a decent run. My Bad Prediction: I think they’ll be much better than last year. I’m going 9-7 in Kelly’s first (and maybe Vick’s last) year in Philly. Miami Dolphins vs. Jacksonville Jaguars For thoughts on Miami, see the Hall of Fame game at the beginning of this really long article. Jacksonville is bad. And they should feel bad. Gabbert showed that he isn’t capable of being a franchise QB. If/When Chad Henne gets his shot, he won’t be able to do much more with this team. Blackmon is out for the first 4 games because he’s stupid. Jones-Drew will be the entire offense, and, to put it simply, he’s hecked. I’d be surprised if this team scored 14 points once all year. The defense doesn’t even matter. Which is good for Jacksonville, because their defense sucks too. My Bad Prediction: 0-16. Baaaaaad. New York Jets vs. Detroit Lions ButtFumble! Holy crap this guy is still starting. And after recent reports that Geno Smith’s conditioning is “embarrassing,†it seems like another lose/lose at QB for the Jets. I’m sensing a theme… Anyways… This team isn’t good. Rex Ryan isn’t a good coach, and people should start realizing that. He talks big and puts on a good show, but after his first couple years this team has been in a big embarrassing tailspin. I just hope this is the year he finally gets fired and we don’t have to listen to him anymore. My Bad Prediction: I’m just hoping it’s bad enough to get Rex Ryan fired. Nothing can possibly be as comical as last year though. 3-13. The Lions are a weird team. I feel like they should be a lot better than they are. Stafford continuously makes the “All Potential Team†despite being a seasoned veteran at this point. He finally managed to stay healthy last year, probably because he just took closed his eyes and launched it to Megatron 20 times a game (Though seemingly never in the endzone.) The addition of Reggie Bush should help spread the wealth in the receiving game, and maybe increase their low touchdown numbers. Stafford is going to need Bush as an outlet when opposing pass rushers are in his face before the ball is in his hand every snap. The defense will probably take a step back this year after losing some key players, including Avril. This team really isn’t in position to compete, especially in a top heavy division. My Bad Prediction: The offense should be more efficient scoring this year, but overall the team won’t be much better. 5-11 Arizona Cardinals vs. Green Bay Packers Fear not, Cardinals fans, Carson Palmer is here to save the day! Maybe that’s a stretch, but Arizona is much better off behind center this year compared to last. Larry Fitzgerald should return to form, which will make all football fans happy. The lack of run attack will make it hard for Palmer to repeat his numbers from last year. The defense was very good last year before a couple of big injuries slowed them down. Patrick Peterson has quickly become one of the elite defensive players in the league, but the rest of the back 7 has big question marks. My Bad Prediction: I’m actually expecting this team to be a little better than last year. But not much better. 6-10 The Packers are always going to be good as long as they have Rodgers throwing the ball. It doesn’t matter who he’s throwing to. Which is why losing Greg Jennings won’t make much of a difference. What they lose in Jennings is offset by the return to Green Bay of a decent running game. If Eddie Lacy can shed his injury prone rep, this Packers offense will be difficult to figure out. Clay Mathews still offers up the main threat as pass rusher. Charles Woodson leaves a big hole in the secondary, largely in terms of his veteran leadership. My Bad Prediction: Another major player in the NFC. 12-4 Kansas City Chiefs vs. New Orleans Saints Getting rid of Matt Cassell was half the battle. He was just awful. Alex Smith steps in to take over with Andy Reid, who should start steering this team in the right direction. No one thinks Smith should be the long term answer, but he should be serviceable for a while. Most of the offensive burden should be on Jamaal Charles anyways, unless Reid still refuses to run the ball. He pretty much has to though, because he doesn’t have much in the WR position. The defense is loaded with talent and Pro Bowlers. Derrick Johnson, Tamba Hali, Eric Berry, all should be stellar. My Bad Prediction: On paper this team is a Super Bowl contender everywhere except QB. Once they get that figured out, they’ll be dangerous. Depending on how long it takes. 8-8 The prodigal son returns. Sean Payton makes his dramatic return after a ridiculous suspension cost him all of last year. Drew Brees and Saints fans everywhere rejoice, because they were pretty terrible without him. I expect them to regain their pre-2012 form. Payton calling the shots, Jimmie Graham healthy (for now), and a decent receiving corps should lead to another light-it-up year for Brees. New Orleans is switching from a 4-3 to a 3-4, but it probably won’t help much right away. Obviously they don’t rely on their defense to win games, they just need to keep the opponent under 25. My Bad Prediction: They will have a point to prove to the league. I don’t see them pulling any punches. 12-4 Houston Texans and Minnesota Vikings Houston’s 1-2 punch is getting old. Facts are facts. Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson are running out of time, and they’ve already lost some of their luster. I still love Johnson, but obviously he’s not the best in the game anymore. Schaub was bad at the end of last year, and the Texans disappointed in the playoffs. They added WR DeAndre Hopkins in the first round, but will that be enough for Schaub to thrive? J.J. Watt could have won MVP last year. It would be a lot to expect him to repeat that kind of season. But the Texans will need it if they want to make another run at a title. My Bad Prediction: Schaub takes another step back, as do the Texans. Their window is closed. 10-6 The Adrian Petersons had a really good year last year. Peterson almost set the rush record coming off a knee that was destroyed 6 months earlier. There is zero chance that happens this year. Percy Harvin is gone, as is any pass threat. Ponder isn’t going to be able to shoulder his portion of the load. Teams are going to put 10 in the box and dare Peterson to beat them. They can’t repeat last year. My Bad Prediction: If they expect more of the same out of AD, they’re crazy. But he’s crazy good so it could happen… but it won’t. 7-9. Chicago Bears vs. Carolina Panthers I live about 15 minutes away from where the Bears hold training camp, so I’m bombarded by Bears talk on a daily basis. I feel like Jay Cutler gets dumped on too much. But that’s to be expected with his attitude toward the media. I think the new coach will do him a lot of good. An offensive mind in charge can only help what has been a franchise that historically ignores the offensive side of the ball. I see the Bears taking a big step forward. But how big will hinge on that old defense not regressing too much. Tillman needs to stay at the top of his game, and they need to overcome the loss of Urlacher, their emotional and stragical leader. My Bad Prediction: I expect a lot out of the Bears this year. They won’t win the division, but they should make the Wild Card. 11-5 The Panthers rely on Cam Newton possibly more than any other team relies on their QB. He is their pass game, he is a huge chuck of their run game, he is their goal line offense. If he regresses at all they are screwed. And I find myself hoping that happens. Something about him rubs me the wrong way. I’m not a believer that he can mentally carry the burden of a team throughout a season. I don’t see them being successful this year, mainly because I don’t see him maturing enough to handle adversity. My Bad Prediction: Newton probably throws 15 picks, and another 15 tantrums. 7-9 Dallas Cowboys vs. Oakland Raiders Cowboys info in Hall of Fame Game section at the beginning of this article. Matt Flynn takes over for Carson Palmer at QB, which is nowhere near an upgrade. The Raiders have a bad QB, bad WRs, an injury prone RB, and a bad offensive line. Not at all a good combination. On defense they’re packing an almost entirely new starting lineup. Charles Woodson makes his return to Oakland, but it would be silly to expect him to carry a defense. Bad pass rush, bad run stop, decent secondary. Still not a good combination. My Bad Prediction: More bad for Raiders fans. And there’s no end in sight. 2-14 New York Giants vs. Pittsburgh Steelers Eli Manning is a tough guy to figure out. Is he really good? Is he mediocre? Depends on what day you’re asking, I suppose. He needs Hakeem Nicks to be at the top of his game to really excel. Davis Wilson takes over for Ahmad Bradshaw at RB, which could be a good move if Wilson can repeat some of the stuff he showed last year. JPP was really the only pass rush threat along the once dominant defensive line. Justin Tuck was a disappointment and Osi Umenyiora is gone. That needs to change because they really don’t have a good secondary. My Bad Prediction: I never know what to make of the Giants. They can always go either way. I’ll just say 9-7 and hope they do worse. Pittsburgh made some significant changes this offseason. Disappointing and fumble-happy RB Mendenhall is gone, replaced with 2nd rounder Le’Veon Bell. Deep threat Mike Wallace is gone to Miami, which they seem to view as good riddance. They hung onto Emmanuel Sanders, and will expect more from him this year. Big Ben’s surgically repaired knee will be tested behind a spotty offensive line. Maurkice Pouncey will not be allowed to wear his “Free Hernandez†hat over his helmet on Sundays. Roookie Jarvis Jones adds a great pass rush to the defense. My Bad Prediction: I feel like last year was a fluke. I expect the Steelers to be better this year. 10-6 Buffalo Bills vs. Indianapolis Colts The Bills finally gave up on Ryan Fitzpatrick, only to reach for EJ Manuel in the first round. If Manuel starts, this team will be a disaster. If Kolb starts they’ll just be awful. So at least they have that going for them. There’s really not much going here. So I’m not going to say much. My Bad Prediction: No one is expecting much, and for good reason. 3-13 The Colts should be a fun team to watch this year. Andrew Luck is going to be a monster in the league, and I’m interested to see if he can avoid the sophomore slump. If he can drop his interception totals, this team will be even better than their surprising record last year. His receiving corps is also entering most of their second years, so the whole thing should run a lot smoother. The main question is if Reggie Wayne can keep up his level of play. Ahmad Bradshaw was brought in to solidify the running game, so that will help Luck a lot. Indy won’t get much pressure on the QB, they should be able to cover receivers with a pretty good secondary. My Bad Prediction: I think the team overall will be better than last year, but it might be offset by the lack of emotional inspiration that was provided by Pagano last year. So they’ll break even. 11-5 Well folks there ya have it. It was a marathon but we got through it. Feel free to let me know how bad my predictions are, what teams I really messed up on, or if I actually got something right. It’s fun writing these things, but the best part comes afterword in reading the discussions it sparks. I look forward to doing these every week to get everyone primed for the upcoming games.
Nice job, [MENTION=3600]Steve12[/MENTION]. Need to go over it again carefully if I have any shot at calling you some name for being clueless about some prediction. You could have stopped with the Cowboys and Jerry Jones and this still would have been a good read.
Krappernuts??? Really????? <shaking head> without our #1 receiver I'm really worried and since none of the other WR's are stepping up in training camp...I'm HELLA worried!!!!
Yea at least one of those receivers needs to come up big. But they shouldn't be relying that much on the pass game to to make or break them.
As a Western Division rival, I only wish I could be so worried. As long as 'the starting QB' doesn't fumble or throw interceptions as part of his regular diet, I still think SF is at the top of the class out West. With the Niners' defense, I really don't think that many points will have to be scored. Remain focused on your dislike for Pete Carroll and things will be fine.
I've hated Peter Carroll for years now and my hate for him has only GROWN more with every passing year. I am also worried about our secondary,oh hell I'm worried about everything...CRAP...
Good stuff Steve. Awesome column :beer: I agree with your point that the Cutler/Trestman relationship will be the main storyline of the season for Chicago. The defense is getting old, and with a newer O-line and offense, maybe the Bears will outscore opponents instead of relying on the defense too much.
Thanks man. Yea the bears are going to have to score points on offense. They can't realistically expect the defense to cause turnovers and score the way they did last year.
I don't hate the bucs. I'm just not sold Freeman is going to be as good as we thought he would be a couple years ago. If he doesn't show any improvement this team is doomed. And it has to be a major improvement because Schiano is more than ready to dump him and find his own qb.
Couldn't agree more. Taking the leap of faith that Freeman has received full support from the rest of the offense each season since his arrival, he has taken somewhat a step backward instead of progressing. This being the final year of his rookie deal, probably no other starting QB is on the hot seat more than Freeman, IMO.
