Fez & TJ Power Rankings Week 10

Fez: Well, this was a very interesting weekend. It had it all: a hapless home team getting outdone on TNF, with a bigger fanbase rooting for the visitors to boot; one of us getting insanely wasted on Saturday night; my balls shrinking faster than Philadelphia’s playoffs hopes; a terrible hangover that only a few men have experienced in history, with lingering effects being felt well into the SNF matchup; a Schaub-Cutler suckoff; and on top of that, a tie! Who’s going to make a joke about Donovan McNabb still watching TV wondering when second OT on the Rams-Niners game will be played? The lesson, as always: Modelo Chope Stout beer is the freaking devil. I’ll never drink that crap again.

TJ: On the other hand, as you get older, you start taking it slow, and appreciate the little things of life. For instance, on Saturday, while Fez was getting wasted, me and the Mrs. attended my boss’ child’s baptism. You read it right: baptism. It was pretty much a child’s party where everybody was asking us “so when are you gonna have kids?†Why is it that people are like that? When we were dating, they were all like “So when is the wedding?†Now that we got married, they want to know about kids. Once we have our first kid, they will ask “So when are you having the next one?†Screw off already. When I start attending friends’ retirement parties in a couple of decades, I’ll ask them “So, when are you dying?†Let’s see if they enjoy it. Anyway, after my last birthday (I just got to the wrong side of 30…I’m already past my prime) I decided I had enough, and to stop drinking. Not altogether, of course, I imposed myself a limit of two beers per party. I had only one. I wish I could’ve had more. We got out early, were home by 8PM and I fell asleep watching old, bad movies and drinking a warm cup of chocolate. Yes. Life is great.

But you don’t care about what Fez and I did on Saturday. You came here for the Power Rankings. So, without further ado, I give you TJ & Fez’s Week 10 Power Rankings 2012:


1.- Houston Texans (Last week: 3)
Record: 8-1 (1st in AFC South)
Week 10: Won at Chicago, 10-3.
Week 11: vs Jacksonville
Fez: That was ugly. Not TJ’s face-like ugly, because they won the suckoff duel, but it was an unwatchable game. In a season characterized by dominance from the NFC teams, the Texans are clearly the crop of the AFC and could beat any NFC team at the time. And when Ben Tate comes back from injury, they’ll be even better. Could they make it to the big game? Who knows. It feels they could be upset at home in the Divisional Round. I’m not feeling they “it†factor. Of course TJ will agree with me because he’s a Texans hater, but I digress.

TJ: You already forgot they lost to the Packers, and looked really bad at it? Of course the NFC is the better conference right now, but just as I predicted last week, Smokin’ Jay Cutler was due for an injury, and he delivered. And just as I said last week, I hate it when former Cowboys coaches are successful elsewhere after being fired/released. Just picturing Old Uncle Wade getting showered with Gatorade in January makes me sick to my stomach. Let’s just move on…


2.- Chicago Bears (Last week: 2)
Record: 7-2 (1st in NFC North)
Week 10: Lost vs Houston, 10-3.
Week 11: at San Francisco (MNF)
TJ: Once again, as I said, Cutler got injured and the Bears offense suddenly looked worse than the Jaguars offense. Well, not THAT bad, of course, but you get the idea. Now let’s see his status for next week. Seeing that they’ll face a probably pissed off Niners team, I’d give him the week off. Jason Campbell, I feel for you, man.

Fez: You might be a bit surprised to hear this, but I think the Bears-Niners game will be too close (hopefully not another tie, though). San Francisco struggled to contain Steven Jackson, and Matt Forte, while not physically imposing like the former, can run pretty well. That, or Aldon Smith will break the single-game sack record, with absolutely no in-between.


3.- Atlanta Falcons (Last week: 1)
Record: 8-1 (1st in NFC South)
Week 10: Lost at New Orleans, 27-31.
Week 11: vs Arizona
TJ: That sound you just heard was the ’72 Dolphins popping their champagne. I don’t know about you, but I’m very glad we won’t be hearing from the king of douche bags himself, Mercury Morris, at least for another year. As for the Falcons, now that the pressure for 16-0 is out of the way, they should cruise for the division title and an early exit from the playoffs, save for a miraculous Saints comeback that I think it’s too late for it to happen.

Fez: … Frauds!!! I said it, everyone said it. The Falcons are frauds. About the Saints comeback, I hope it is too late. I want to win that wager so bad.


4.- Baltimore Ravens (Last week: 6)
Record: 7-2 (1st in AFC North)
Week 10: Won vs Oakland, 20-55.
Week 11: at Pittsburgh (SNF)
Fez: Old-school spanking of the Raiders. But they HAVE to be worried that they couldn’t run the ball on a Raiders team that recently got harassed by Muscle Hamster. Jacoby Jones’ 105 KR TD was his second of the season. He had 1 in five seasons for the Texans. Gotta love when a player blossoms after he’s let go by the team that drafted/signed him as UDFA. I hope this doesn’t happen to the 49ers when they choose to give Colin Kaepernick the keys to the offense next year.

TJ: So much for injuries destroying this team. You got to wonder how is it possible that Ray Rice ran for only 34 yards, and they still scored 55 points. Even the field goal holder scored, for crying out loud!! See my point finally? See why I hate fantasy football with passion? I can’t take it anymore. I need a drink.

Fez: I’ll get you one of those red wine/lemon ice water stuff I got in my visit to your hometown. Delicious, refreshing and boy, they will get you buzzed if you get two or three.


5.- Denver Broncos (Last week: 7)
Record: 6-3 (1st in AFC West)
Week 10: Won at Carolina, 36-14.
Week 11: vs San Diego
Fez: Von Miller promised, Von Miller delivered. Sacked Cam Newton and mocked his Superman celebration. Lovely. In all, the Broncos captured Bizarro Superman SEVEN times. Wow. And tiny Trindon Holliday returned another kickoff for TD. Score two for former Texans return men who did crap in Houston. I’m beginning to see a trend here. Even Jerome Mathis (who’s currently out of football for no other reason than being a speedy motherhecker with little-to-no football skills) shined for the Pittsburgh Power in the Arena League. Ok, I’m reaching.

TJ: Not only does Peyton Manning look like his old self, but he also looks like he’s on cruise control until the playoffs. They know they have the division wrapped up. I really think Manning is only watching Patriots tape preparing for a re-match in January. I mean, what can you look at on tape about the Chiefs, Raiders or Chargers? And remember, I tweeted in august that the Broncos would play in the AFC Championship. What? You don’t follow me on twitter? Yeah, why would you?

Fez: Nobody wants to read your cowboys rants on game-day, the same way nobody wants to read my nightclub chronicles.

TJ: Yet you keep sending them!!!

Fez: Well, you do enjoy them.


6.- Green Bay Packers (Last week: 5)
Record: 6-3 (2nd in NFC North)
Week 10: Bye.
Week 11: at Detroit
TJ: It’s not too late for the Packers!! Just a few breaks here and there, and they could give the Bears a serious run for their money. Aaron Rodgers has looked amazing lately, considering most of his WRs are out with injuries.

Fez: Has anyone heard about Aaron Rodgers paying up his Week 1 bet? In case you don’t know, he had a little wager with Boyz II Men (which, amazingly, sounds like the name of an awesome strip club); long story short, if Green Bay lost to San Francisco, Rodgers would have to wear a 49ers jersey all the following week after that game. He lost, and I haven’t seen any evidence of his complying with his part of the deal. What a cat.


7.- San Francisco 49ers (Last week: 4)
Record: 6-2-1 (1st in NFC West)
Week 10: Tied vs St. Louis, 24-24.
Week 11: vs Chicago (MNF)
TJ: They say tying in the NFL is like kissing your sister, and I kind of see it. I mean, tying to the Rams…at home!! You must have an ugly sister!! I swear I saw a vein in Jim Harbaugh’s forehead about to explode right before that Rams TD in overtime was called back. And then the Rams decided they didn’t want to win by letting the play clock run off right as Legatron was making that 53-yd FG. Last week I was bitter that the 49ers appeared to be the best team in the NFC, but it didn’t take long before a few cracks on the armor were shown. This team really needs Alex Smith. Who knew?!?!

Fez: I refuse to admit we “need†Alex Smith. Captain Kaep, for all his rawness, lack of experience and stuff, did a pretty good job coming back from the deficit the bust dug us into. I’m very excited to see him taking over next year after we give Alex a well-deserved kick in the butt on his way out the door.


8.- New England Patriots (Last week: 8)
Record: 6-3 (1st in AFC East)
Week 10: Won vs Buffalo, 31-37.
Week 11: vs Indianapolis
Fez: There’s something about the Patriots that I just hate. It might be the fact that they can’t seem to drop close games to lesser teams that hang with them the whole game. Yeah, they did lose to Arizona, or maybe the Tri-force of Douchebaggery composed by Belichick, McDaniels and Brady. Either way, heck them.

TJ: That’s because their pass defense sucks. And when you have a great offense that scores quickly, opposite teams have to catch up from the beginning, exposing your weak pass defense. The Pats must be thankful that they play in the suddenly pathetic AFC East. Yeah, I know I praised the Dolphins last week, but they were exposed badly, the Jets are a joke, and the Bills are the Bills, so New England will win the division almost by default, and then lose in the Wild Card round to an average team like the Steelers or Colts. Which will suck for the Broncos because they’ll be preparing for them…


9.- Pittsburgh Steelers (Last week: 9)
Record: 6-3 (2nd in AFC North)
Week 10: Won vs Kansas City, 13-10.
Week 11: vs Baltimore
Fez: After showing off my huge balls in last week’s power rankings, everything crashed. I was invited to a birthday party in a bar last Saturday night; since my car isn’t completely fixed yet I didn’t take risks and took a cab to the place. This pretty much erased my personal policy that reads “anytime you start feeling buzzed, STOP DRINKING IMMEDIATELY, or you’ll pull a Leonard Littleâ€. So I drank, and I drank, and I drank, and kept drinking, and chugged half a cup of beer in one take, and I kept drinking and suddenly I was with my best friend, telling dumb jokes. We were talking about a friend of the birthday fella, whom my buddy invited to a date, and I started using a catchphrase “pew pew†in a funny tone, suggesting he’d get laid with her. I even told him “what was the name of the skunk in the Looney Tunes? Pepe Le Pew-Pew?†and he began laughing histerically. Good times! Anyway, I ruined my night by getting wasted to the point that I got in a “heck it†mode, and texted my ex-gf via whatsapp. Spare me from the questions such as “why on earth would you still have your ex’s number or her whatsapp contact?â€, please, don’t remind me how dumb I am. Turns out, my balls do fit in my pants, and after that night I could use another pair of balls to fill in my underwear. As a punishment, I spent all Sunday in my bedroom watching football with a tremendous hangover.

TJ: This week you have peanut-sized balls. The best part: I got a text sent at 4AM from Fez that read, and I quote: “Omg… I texted my ex!! Told her I couldn’t live without her! :(“. Of course, I saw it at noon when I woke up, I always put my cell on vibrate on weekends because of drunk texts/calls from my friends like that one, but I couldn’t help but laugh and think to myself “I told you soâ€. So anyway, the Steelers escaped with a tough win against Kansas City, in which Big Ben got injured and we got to see Byron Leftwich’s weir throwing motion which only proves that if he can play, Tebow can play too. Wait…a tough win against Kansas City? What the hell!!!

Fez: In case you were wondering (I know you don’t, but I want to vent), yes, she replied. Yes, she’s single. Yes, we kept talking all Sunday afternoon. And yes, we’ll probably meet very soon. I never learn, for god’s sake. This was your weekly little personal story of Fez’s life. Now I’ll go hang myself.

TJ: You’re absolutely right. We don’t care.


10.- Indianapolis Colts (Last week: 11)
Record: 6-3 (2nd in AFC South)
Week 10: Won at Jacksonville, 27-10.
Week 11: at New England
Fez: A bit off-topic here. How come you can’t have your whole 53-man roster shave their heads for Coach Pagano? I would understand if you had a douche self-centered butthole like Tom Brady, concerned about the silky feel of his hair, but the Colts? Come on, show some solidarity.

TJ: Most of them did. Anyway, the first real test for this team comes next week at Foxboro, and call me crazy, but I think they have a chance!! New England’s pass defense is below average, and Andrew Luck has proven he can take advantage of that kind of thing. Add that to the fact that they keep playing strong, or as they say, #CHUCKSTRONG, against Brady the diva and his condescending teammates…I think we have next week upset right here!!

Fez: #CHUCKSTRONG.


11.- Seattle Seahawks (Last week: 12)
Record: 6-4 (2nd in NFC West)
Week 10: Won vs New York Jets, 7-28.
Week 11: Bye.
TJ: Did you know the Seahawks are undefeated at home? Did you know Russell Wilson is yet to throw a pick at home? And did you know I don’t really have a point, but didn’t know how to throw those two facts out there? If there is a God (and I won’t get into metaphysics today, at least), the Bears will beat the 49ers on Monday and we’ll have a very interesting race in the NFC West. I can’t wait for the Cowboys to be finally put out of their misery for this year for me to hop on the Seahawks bandwagon. I BELIEVE IN RUSSELL WILSON!!!

Fez: Front-runner. Hate to break it to you, but there is no god. You know how I know it? There was not a god who stopped me from drunk-texting last Saturday. So there.

TJ: Further proof of the continuing decline of western civilization: blaming God for your heck-ups.


12.- New York Giants (Last week: 10)
Record: 6-4 (1st in NFC East)
Week 10: Lost at Cincinnati, 13-31.
Week 11: Bye.
TJ: I gave Elisha Manning one more chance in my fantasy team, and she crapped the bed again. Thank God she has a bye for next week, because her performance would have depended on whether I started her or not. I was watching NFL Network, and noticed Coughlin’s dreadful record in November, so at least I’ll see it coming next year. God, I hate fantasy football.

Fez: Well I’m in trouble, too. In a dynasty league I have Eli Manning as my starting QB. It’s not a coincidence that I’ve lost the last 2 games after being the divisional leader. Anyway, I don’t have a single backup worth his weight. Here are my options, from “least likely to start†to “heck, I have to start him on Eli’s bye weekâ€, which coincidentally comes in Week 11: Kirk Cousins, Shaun Hill, Matt Cassel and… *drum roll* NICK FOLES!! I believe in Nick Foles!! Anyway, it’s funny you talk about Eli as a “sheâ€, seeing how he hasn’t lost at the space ship you call home. Keep it up.

TJ: I’m sorry, but Elisha will always be a whiny spoiled little girl in my book. She cried to her daddy to get her out of San Diego. Freaking cat.


13.- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last week: 16)
Record: 5-4 (2nd in NFC South)
Week 10: Won vs San Diego, 24-34.
Week 11: at Carolina
TJ: They’re right there!! Say what you want about that weasel Schiano but at least his team is playing way harder than it ever did under Raheem Morris. Now, with that said, I don’t think it’s fair for a team from the West Coast to travel to the East and play at 1:00 PM ET. It’s 10:00 AM in the body clocks of the other guys, and that is just hecked up. You know what I’m doing on Sundays at 10:00 AM? I’m sleeping!! Give these guys a break.

Fez: Schiano still deserves to be punched in the face for being an butthole. I won’t rest until I see that image happen.

TJ: Maybe if he gets to play against Jim Harbaugh and the 49ers…..


14.- Minnesota Vikings (Last week: 17)
Record: 6-4 (3rd in NFC North)
Week 10: Won vs Detroit, 24-34.
Week 11: Bye.
TJ: You know what…what Adrian Peterson is doing is just amazing. I tore my ACL a few years ago, and after 8 months I could barely walk, let alone run and make cuts. To this day, it still hurts when I try to run. Of course, I wasn’t treated by a first world health care program, and I didn’t take rehab very seriously because I had already decided to become a Software Engineer, but still. Adrian Peterson, I tip my hat to you, sir. Can we give two comeback player awards to him and Peyton Manning? I think it’s fair.

Fez: I’m getting worried. The boys in my office organized a basketball team and put it up against some of the top amateur teams in my hometown. I signed up, though I barely play because I’m kind of small for a basketball player. Anyway, I do have some pain in the back of my knee. I know for a fact it’s not a muscle pull, so it might be that I’m slowly tearing my ACL, too. I’ll let you know after I fall to the ground writhing in pain.


15.- Cincinnati Bengals (Last week: 19)
Record: 4-5 (3rd in AFC North)
Week 10: Won vs New York Giants, 13-31.
Week 11: at Kansas City (basically a bye week with an added Win)
Fez: The Red Rifle! Not exactly an butt whopping of the Giants, but he was efficient enough, and those 4 scores aren’t too shabby. What jumps at my sight is BenJarvus Green-Ellis’ numbers: 15 carries, 50 yards, with a long of… SEVEN. 3.4 YPR for the year. And he’s making 4 million dollars this season. See where I’m going here? Zero doubts about his nickname. The Bengals should’ve known they were going to get financially screwed by a “Law Firmâ€.

TJ: That was really impressive!! I mean, beating the Super Bowl Champs by that margin, and……wait, what? The Giants? In November? While they’re hibernating like they do every year? I don’t know…besides, they’re due for a Marvin Lewis brain fart, so…


16.- Dallas Cowboys (Last week: 20)
Record: 4-5 (2nd in NFC East)
Week 10: Won at Philadelphia, 38-23.
Week 11: vs Cleveland
TJ: And right as I write them off, the Cowboys pull out a win on the road and, and looking at the remaining schedule, suddenly I’m getting my hopes up again. I won’t say anything…tune back next week when the Browns win in Jerry’s palace and I’m back to being the bitter butthole I’ve always been. And no, this is not an attempt to a reverse jinx or anything…as far as you know.

Fez: You just said the Giants are known for crapping the bed in November, sleep-walking and catching fire when it matters. It happens every year, right? Well, about the Cowboys in November… Tony Romo’s record, the December meltdowns… everything’s going according to schedule.

TJ: I hate you so much…


17.- Detroit Lions (Last week: 13)
Record: 4-5 (4th in NFC North)
Week 10: Lost at Minnesota, 24-34.
Week 11: vs Green Bay
TJ: Megatron has come back to life!! And even had a score in garbage time!! Who cares if the Lions still lost and are under .500…it’s all about Stafford-to-Megatron winning games for league leader Romophobia (my OTHER fantasy football team, the good one, apparently). Yeah, I hate fantasy football, but when you have those two guys, and they are trailing by more than 10 points in the final quarter, and they start airing it out, YOU GET EXCITED!! Never fix that defense, Lions…you could save my fantasy football career.

Fez: 44 dropbacks, 17 rushes. Thank you for underutilizing LeShoure, buttholes.


18.- San Diego Chargers (Last week: 15)
Record: 4-5 (2nd in AFC West)
Week 10: Lost at Tampa Bay, 24-34.
Week 11: at Denver
Fez: Philip Rivers is trying his hardest to get Norv Turner fired, but he HAS to pretend he’s fighting to win, right? Either way, both Norv and AJ should get canned. There is no excuse for this team to be playing second fiddle to the Broncos. Pretty strange that 3 out of the 4 ownerships in the AFC West are horrible.

TJ: I think Rivers needs to go as well. The Chargers should just blow it up, and start over again. Too much Norv Poison in this roster. You need a priest, some holy water, and a cross. In fact, blow up the stadium…evacuate the city…close the borders!! San Diego has been Norv’d, and it spreads quickly!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!


19.- New Orleans Saints (Last week: 26)
Record: 4-5 (3rd in NFC South)
Week 10: Won vs Atlanta, 27-31.
Week 11: at Oakland
TJ: The Saints are still alive!! And they face the Raiders next week, so they’ll be back to .500 after their awful start. I don’t think they can catch up with the Falcons, but a Wild Card berth suddenly looks realistic, unless of course the NFC North sends three teams to the playoffs, but still. Never underestimate the power of Breesus.

Fez: …Cheating bastards. Go away already.


20.- Miami Dolphins (Last week: 14)
Record: 4-5 (2nd in AFC East)
Week 10: Lost vs Tennessee, 37-3.
Week 11: at Buffalo (TNF)
Fez: Reggie Bush tweeted an apology for “his†performance. Even if that was the right move to do, I can’t get past the fact that the tweet was all about “him†and not the team. Old dogs don’t learn new tricks. On the other hand, former PK and TJ’s favorite Raul Allegre said the Dolphins were better off with Matt Moore at the helm. Funny how he said it after Tannehill’s dreadful performance and not after the games against the Rams or Colts. Like I said last week, writers overreact to anything.

TJ: So much for Tannehill being the real deal. And I wonder why I’m writing this in an office instead of a Starbucks with a crazy editor hurrying me up by phone. Of course, Tannehill will follow up his latest stinker with a performance for the ages against Buffalo, so, the lesson, as always, I’m a freaking idiot.

Fez: You like Starbucks? Drink real coffee, cat.


21.- Washington Redskins (Last week: 22)
Record: 3-6 (4th in NFC East)
Week 10: Bye.
Week 11: vs Philadelphia
TJ: The Highlight reel and NFL RedZone really missed RGIII this week. They should’ve added some highlights from earlier in the season, or maybe his college career just to keep some momentum. And this is coming from the biggest Redskins hater you’ll ever meet. It’s really sad Michael Vick won’t be there next week at FedEx Field to pass on the “Athletic QB who will dominate highlight shows during the next decade†torch.

Fez: Vince Young feels so disrespected you overlooked him, he’s on suicide watch again.


22.- Tennessee Titans (Last week: 27)
Record: 4-6 (3rd in AFC South)
Week 10: Won at Miami, 37-3.
Week 11: Bye.
Fez: For those who doubted Jake Locker would re-gain his form after his injury: 9/21, 122 yards, 2 TDs; 4 rushes, 36 yards. Vintage Jake Locker. Wildly erratic passer, but I still like him a lot. It’s like rooting for Vince Young, if you gave him leadership skills and football smarts. And don’t look now, but Chris Johnson also is back in his old self: 5 strong games in a row puts himself in 3rd place in rushing yards. Hey may not win the title (Adrian Peterson blows him away) but it’s good news for his fantasy owners.

TJ: I don’t get it. Are the Titans good? Are they bad? What the hell are they? They can win by 40 points one week, just to get blown out and take a 50-burger the following week. I don’t understand. I really don’t know what to make of the Titans…


23.- Carolina Panthers (Last week: 21)
Record: 2-7 (4th in NFC South)
Week 10: Lost vs Denver, 36-14.
Week 11: vs Tampa Bay
TJ: And while RGIII will take the torch from Vick next week, we just saw the overrated Cam Newton get schooled at home by Peyton Manning himself. Stop it, Reverend Sharpton, I’m not a racist…leave me the heck alone!!

Fez: I know NFL contracts are not guaranteed, but just for fun, let’s take a look at this situation: Jonathan Stewart signed a 38 million dollars extension this offseason. Last year, DeAngelo Williams signed a 43 million contract. Cam Newton’s rookie deal will pay him 22 million dollars (this one fully guaranteed). Against the Broncos, they combined for 18 rushes and… *drum roll* …44 yards. I don’t even have a witty thing to say here. I’m stunned.


24.- New York Jets (Last week: 23)
Record: 3-6 (3rd in AFC East)
Week 10: Lost at Seattle, 7-28.
Week 11: at St. Louis
Fez: What a disaster. And bringing back the talk about Jake Locker’s return when we covered the Titans, look at Mark Sanchez: 9/22, 124 yards, INT. Pretty similar in completing pct. and passing yards. Still, would you rather have Jake Locker or Mark Sanchez? I thought so. Really, what’s stopping Rex Ryan from naming Tebow the starter? Even NFL.com videos has a “Tim Tebow highlights†clip from the loss to the Seahawks, and, I’ll spare you the boredom, it includes a 1-yard checkdown pbutt. A ONE-YARD PBUTT!!! You know even the league wants Happy Feet Rex to change his starting QB. Get it done. We all want more Tebow; we complain about his excessive coverage on the mainstream media, but we can’t get enough Tebow. I know you feel the same, TJ.

TJ: FREE TIM TEBOW!!! Like I said last week, things can’t really get worse for the Jets, can they? At this point, what do they have to lose by starting Tebow? At least they’d be relevant again. And if it works, and Tebow starts working his sports moviesque magic, and the Jets somehow make a run to the play-offs, there’s always the sucker team in urgent need for a QB who will give you a high round pick for that POS Sanchez. Arizona Cardinals, that would be your chance to appeal to your Hispanic fans, and make Larry Fitzgerald finally kill himself.


25.- Philadelphia Eagles (Last week: 18)
Record: 3-6 (3rd in NFC East)
Week 10: Lost vs Dallas, 38-23,
Week 11: at Washington
TJ: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LMAO!!!! ROFL!!! Ahem…I mean…yeah, good game, guys. Good effort. The best part about the first 5-game losing streak in the Andy Reid Era, is the fact that people kept screaming for Nick Foles to take Vick’s place, and when it finally happens, THEY BOO HIM!!! Yeah, yeah, some Eagles fans will tell you that they were booing the team, but I know what I heard. I find it absolutely hilarious!! I believe Eagles fans would’ve booed NASA after the first moon landing. Eagles fans are the best in the world!!

Fez: This paragraph is going to be so freaking amusing when Nick Foles beats the Cowboys at their own place, to take the lead for a wild card spot. Just watch. I believe in Nick Foles. By the way, here’s a little gift, you’re gonna love this: Did Andy Reid Get Fired Yet?


26.- St. Louis Rams (Last week: 30)
Record: 3-5-1 (4th in NFC West)
Week 10: Tied at San Francisco, 24-24.
Week 11: vs New York Jets
TJ: I’m so disappointed. They had the 49ers and they let them off the hook!! A valuable lesson for this young, upcoming team. Jeff Fisher has them playing hard, as we all expected.

Fez: As a divisional rival, it’s at least nice to see Steven Jackson will soon start declining his play. That combo of size and speed is pretty hard to find.

TJ: Jackson will join Corey Dillon, Larry Allen, Aeneas Williams, and Curtis Martin in the Hall of Fame of wasted Primes.


27.- Oakland Raiders (Last week: 24)
Record: 3-6 (3rd in AFC West)
Week 10: Lost at Baltimore, 20-55.
Week 11: vs New Orleans
Fez: I had forgotten Matt Leinart was on the Raiders roster. Could we find a way to get Mark Sanchez to Oakland so we have a trifecta of failed USC Quarterbacks? And should Matt Barkley start researching real estate in the Bay Area? It’s only fitting that the Chiefs, who haven’t had a QB drafted by them win a game for their franchise in so many years, will likely select Barkley next year. It’s an instant disaster.

TJ: Barkley is going to KC, so don’t get your hopes up. Unless they somehow keep both Romeo an Pioli and name Brady Quinn their franchise QB. Then anything can happen. I think it’s funny how the Raiders keep naming robots as their Head Coaches. On Sunday, right after Baltimore scored on that fake FG, the cameras focused on Denis Allen who just stared to the field. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t sad…he just…stared. Not only the Spirit of Al Davis is still among them, but also the spirit of Art Shell, the Mount Rushmore of staring to the field doing nothing.


28.- Buffalo Bills (Last week: 25)
Record: 3-6 (4th in AFC East)
Week 10: Lost at New England, 31-37.
Week 11: vs Miami (TNF)
Fez: I knew from the bottom of my heart that Ryan Pickspatrick was going to throw a game-ending interception. It was a safer bet than me contacting my ex again. Death; taxes; the Cardinals embarrassing themselves; Ryan Pickspatrick throwing a game-ending interception. And yes, the Bills keep making me very upset about the usage rate for C.J. Spiller: 13 touches to Fred Jackson’s 20. Really, some teams just have all those losses coming. Jackson will be out next week so expect a huge game from Spiller, and a Win for the Bills.

TJ: I already said Miami will destroy them. So apparently, Super Mario Williams was just a product of Houston’s defensive system, right? Or is his injury worse than they are letting us know? If the Bills sign an unrestricted free agent to the biggest contract for a defensive player in NFL history, and he becomes a bust, they have no chance in hell to make even a decent draft, right? Who is scouting for these guys? 13 years and counting, Bills fans…


29.- Arizona Cardinals (Last week: 28)
Record: 4-5 (3rd in NFC West)
Week 10: Bye (and their 6 remaining fans said “THANK GOD!â€).
Week 11: at Atlanta (3 of those fans just hopped off the bandwagon in advance)
TJ: Speaking of feeling bad for someone, man…Larry Fitzgerald is trapped there with no QB and no hope for the future. Sure, he’s set financially for life, and his sons’ lives, but money can’t buy happiness!! And in the Cardinals case, money can’t buy a Quarterback. Or an Offensive Line. Or a Running Back…

Fez: It’s his fault! He CHOSE to sign that contract. He walked into that situation by himself. Don’t feel bad for the guy who knew the consequences and wanted to “stay loyalâ€â€¦ wait, I’m projecting myself here. Carry on.


30.- Cleveland Browns (Last week: 29)
Record: 2-7 (4th in AFC North)
Week 10: Bye.
Week 11: at Dallas
Fez: It beats the hell out of me how the folks in Cleveland can keep supporting these Browns. They should take a page out of Jacksonville’s playbook and stop going to the games. I can understand being true fans and all, but when your team in rebuilding mode takes a 28-year old rookie QB, you know things are not going well in the front office. Hopefully they turn things around with the new regime. Still, here’s a little upset special from your resident Cowboy hater: Browns 24-21 Dallas. Take it to the bank.

TJ: It’s Weeden vs. Garrett in our latest Ultimate Ginger Showdown. Next Sunday on CBS!! How bad have things to be for your President/GM or whatever to say he’d be interested in the Cowboys Had Coaching Job? The answer is no, Mike Holmgrem. No thanks. I know I don’t want Jerry to make the football decisions in my team, but I don’t want you either. Go to your retirement home and wait for the HOF to call. I’m not saying they will call, but you can sit there and wait. You had a nice run.

Fez: Everybody knows Holmgren is on the way out. It was a lock soon after they announced the sale of the team.


31.- Jacksonville Jaguars (Last week: 31)
Record: 1-8 (4th in AFC South)
Week 10: Lost vs Indianapolis, 27-10.
Week 11: at Houston
Fez: A bit of old news, but I wanted to chime in on the NFL playing a regular season game across the pond every year. In the futbol (soccer) offseason, the MLS ponies up a big chunk of money to bring top European teams; they are doing a good job in generating interest from the American people, who seem to slowly accept the sport, and if the NHL keeps shooting themselves in the foot, the MLS may soon replace hockey as the 4th most followed league in the country. Anyway, like I said, they bring top euro teams: Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester United, Chelsea, etc. So… why is the league sending the Jaguars to play over there? It’s like the MLS would say: “Oh yeah, we want to increase the fanbase… let’s bring Getafe, Catania, Swansea and APOEL to play a Round Robin mini-tournament.†That doesn’t make any sense, right? Cool points for the reader who correctly answers where each of those 4 teams is from without googling.

TJ: Spain, Italy, England and Cyprus. Who do you want them to send? The NFL needs a fanbase that won’t riot at the possibility of losing one of their precious home games, so the Jaguars are the obvious choice. They can even keep playing a few games per year in London after they move to LA. It’s not like those people would care anyway.

Fez: I said without googling, jerk!


32.- Kansas City Chiefs (Last week: 32)
Record: 1-8 (4th in AFC West, last place in the SEC, and could very well lose to Texas A&M)
Week 10: Lost at Pittsburgh, 10-13.
Week 11: vs Cincinnati
Fez: I chuckled when I read Romeo would bench any player who committed a turnover. Writers redacting scripts for an awful sports movie wouldn’t think of that. They would think of a baseball team full of have-beens and never-weres would turn things around to win the division to stick it to the snitchy owner’s face, the deciding game’s last play being involving the just-about-done-with-busted-knees catcher somehow beating the third baseman in a bunt play; they would think of a big leagues team playing an exhibition game to the organization’s minor league team with the manager position of the big leagues team at stake; they would think of a dog being allowed to play at a kids basketball league (and being good at it!); they would think of an eccentric rich guy buying a marquee basketball team, firing the incumbent and handing the coach position to a fan who stood up to him, and said fan somehow motivating the bunch of divas she has to work with; they would think of a talented hockey player suffering a career ending eye injury in the Winter Olympics, trying to make a comeback and getting rejected by every NHL team, and ultimately talking himself into trying out figure skating, shaking off the stiffness in his body, working with an outright spoiled snitch of a teammate, slowly falling in love with her (but of course!), practicing and pulling off a gold-medal winning move that defies every single physics theory, real or made up by the guys writing for The Big Bang Theory. But damn, they would NEVER think of an overmatched football coach of a 1-7 team, heading into the schedule’s 9th game and implementing a policy of benching any player who turned the ball over. You’re pure genius, Romeo Crennel. I salute you.
TJ: Well, the Chiefs finally got their first lead of the season, and they blew it as expected. Ever since the ’08 Lions we hadn’t witnessed such a level of incompetence. But how can you blame them? Any time you get a chance to have a QB who only had one above-average season in a system in which even Fez could shine, and back-him up with a 1st round bust with a noodle arm who made questionable commercials early in his career, you go ahead and take it!!

Fez: FIRE PIOLI! ROMEO MUST DIE!!

 

Me either. Titans have gotten absolutely blasted too many times for me to think they are a real contender. There's promise there but we have some holes that need to be filled. We never replaced Justin Babin, our safety position is in shambles and our linebackers are as green as goosecrap. The O-line is weak at guard and center and youth peppers the skill positions. The Titans are a helluva spoiler, but no contenders. Not yet.

 

Pinche Texan haters!

 

[MENTION=548]TJ[/MENTION] believes in Russell Wilson?? bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...talk about a bandwagon fan...wow, I hate you TJ...

 

:icon_cheesygrin:

 

Hey! If we can cause a cameo from Blu we must be doing something right!!

Sent from my LG-970h using Tapatalk 2

 

great work as usual gentlemen!!