Dear Diary: My Wife Has Filed For Divorce.

I truly appreciate the kind words and support. It means a lot.

The biggest positive that will come out of this is that I will not have to deal with my mother-in-law much. She's honestly the meanest, most selfish person I've ever met.

She is buying the boys and my wife season passes to Great Adventure. They are on their way their now. As my wife was walking with the boys to the car, the eldest son said, "Isn't Dad coming?". Hearing him say that hurt a lot. It's only been a short period of time that he started calling me "Dad". Freaking brutal.

 

Yeah...I'm scared for what it might do to the boys. Seems like they've really taken to you as their father...

 

Ugh reading that put a pit in my stomach.

The boys are old enough that they could keep in touch with you, right? Are you hoping for that?

 

I have a great relationship with the boys. My wife told me that as angry as I might get with her, that she hopes I stay in their lives. I 100% intend to. When I move on and get a new house on my own, I plan on making sure they have rooms to stay in overnight. I love them very much.

 

A positive note about the boys is that I won't be an enforcer of making sure they do their homework, shower, brush their teeth, etc.....I'll be about only fun stuff with them!

 

Our wedding day will always be the greatest day of my life no matter how much hurt comes from this. I understood what love was. From her, the boys, my family, my friends, her family, etc. The whole day was about joy. Not to get corny, but it's the closest I've ever come to understanding the meaning of life. That night I thanked God (my version, I'm more spiritual than religious) for showing me the beauty of living.

While I'm pretty sure I will never experience happiness like I did on that day ever again, I'm fully appreciative that I had that day.

 

Some of you have been so kind as to ask me what you can do for me. I appreciate that. The best thing is just letting me rant in here, and being ok with that. I've never met any of you, yet for some reason I feel close to many of you. Just having an outlet here to express my feelings helps somewhat.

What's going on in my mind right now is how do I explain this to the boys without saying negative things about their mother or my mother-in-law? I don't truly know why this is happening. I know her mother is going to bash me somehow to them, but I don't want to stoop to her level.

Being hurt and attacked is going to be a challenge for me to rise above for their benefit.

 

To somewhat explain what an awful person my mother-in-law is:

My wife leaves the backdoor open so the dogs can go in and out as they please. Our eldest cat goes outside due to this. He went missing last Monday. The only person who noticed was me. I went out looking for him around the neighborhood several times with no luck. My stepson was at his grandmother's house one day, and he said to me later that night, "What happened to Otys? I heard Grandma say you did something to him.".

She knows damn well that I did nothing to the cat, but she totally tried to plant in his head that I was behind some kind of evil wrong doing.

 

Wow...

 

What a lovely human being. You give her daughter and grandsons what seems to be a fairly easy life and she's doing stuff like that. Sounds to me like she should fall off a cliff.

 

I try to be a good person even when people are complete assholes, but I honestly hate her mother. My wife's father was such a great guy. He passed away in January. I think his passing is part of the reason for my wife being so different.

I know I'm going to come off as a scumbag for saying this, but it's truly how I feel. I wish her mother was the one who died. For the record, I never said that to my wife or anyone.

 

that sucks bro. I am real sorry to hear about this. to rip your life apart and also to subject the children to this is very cruel. I unfortunately know all about the drama queen routine. I say this from experience, Mom was married 4 times after my Dad and her split up, the kids will remember you for their whole life as the one who spent time with them and impacted their lives. Take care bro.

 

The kids won't have to remember me. I'm not going to be a part of their past. I'm going to be there for their present and future.

 

Does she have enough sense to keep you in the picture? She won't try to keep you away from them will she?

 

I'm positive that she wants me to have a relationship with them.

 

this is the issue right here. the mother in law

 

I'm so sorry to hear that, Chuck.