Dear Diary: My Wife Has Filed For Divorce.

Money is the root of all evil.

She's smart as hell, but for whatever reason, she has no financial sense. That part of her brain is turned off. No matter our debt, most of which she incurred, she continued to spend away. That has led to many an argument. Her spending made us have to move into a smaller house. That didn't deter her wasting hundreds a month on the dogs and a brand new car.

I vilified her and her choices noting that it has screwed over the kids and I. She told me that I'm too controlling and constantly degrading her.

Instead of going to marriage consoling or anything, she instantly went straight to divorce. She shocked me with that.

When we took our wedding vows, I took them seriously. Despite our problems, I love her to death, and I would live in a cardboard box with her and the boys.

This freaking hurts.

 

Wow...I didn't expect that Dawk...sorry to hear this. I thought this might be one of those light-hearted joke threads...

 

Yeah, unfortunately not a joke thread. She's always been strange, and that was something that I have loved about her from the get-go. Her unpredictability was exciting and frustrating at the same time. I'm kind of glad that I will be able to go back to having a stable life, but I honestly love her so much and hate that we won't be together as a couple going forward.

 

I took her from being a broke single mother with 3 kids to a married woman with a huge house. She comes from a freaked up family that always has drama. Part of me thinks that she may have ended this, despite how much it will affect the boys, because she seeks chaos on some level. I may be wrong about that, but I love her no matter her reason for falling out of love with me.

 

She says she loves me...but you don't instantly end a marriage if you love your spouse.

 

Could it be a knee jerk thing on her part

 

God dammit I was reaaaaally hoping for a "Gotcha, babyes!!" post to open this thread. freak. My heart goes out to you, brother. Im so, so sorry you have to go through this, it's just not right. Really wish I could be there to give you a hug and share a bottle...

Any chance she's just being her "odd" self, overreacted, and might be willing to stick around and work on it after she calms down? It seems like, while being a strain on the family, that it's something that could feasibly worked out without having to resort to divorce. It's not like she freaked your grandpa (or you hers) or did something equally outrageous. Damnit, man...

If you ever need to blow of some steam, get an unbiased take on something, or just cry on a shoulder, get at me. Whatever I can realistically do from across the country, I'm there for you. Love ya, buddy.

 

I think it may have been when she initially made the decision, but she's stubborn and shows no sign of turning back. Based on her doing this, I want out knowing it will happen again.

 

Doesn't make it any easier to handle, I'm sure, but I'd wager you're dead on there, especially if she wasn't willing to listen to "reason" and went straight to divorce. I've seen more women (and men) than I can count that "seek chaos", as you said, who aren't truly content being happy, and Ive never seen one give that trait up for any length of time. They'll put up a facade for a while, sure, but eventually the need for chaos and misery always comes back.

 

Yup. I kind of saw the signs in her, but I loved her so much that I let the warning signs pass. Monetarily, it's cost me huge. Emotionally.....I hope the hurt ends eventually. She's freaked up my life, her kids' lives, and others...but I love her regardless.

I honestly don't think she intends to hurt others purposely. I know at the heart of her is a good person. She just doesn't know how to let that part be who she truly is.

 

Chuck man, very sorry to read this. From the moment you told us about it, to the photos I saw of the wedding, I knew you where happy. To end like this, that is painful man. I wish I could something deep and insiteful to help, but I'm at a loss for words really. Just keep your head up dude

 

Words of truth, Dawk

Thru all the heart ache, don't lose sight of the fact that some people just can't be 'fixed'. When things become too good, they have the need to sabotage.

Her behavior proves that.

'Hang in there' sounds hollow but it's the only plan of attack at this stage.

P.S. You're still my hero...

 

Has she come out and told the kids?

 

This is brutal, man. I don't even know what to say. You're one of the nicest and coolest guys I've ever met, and I've never even met you. I genuinely hate seeing this.

It's weird to think we can feel so connected to people here even with none of us having ever met. But this corp group has been together so long it's impossible to not feel tight. You know we'll always be here, dawk.

 

Yeah seriously Dawk...if there's anything we can do to help, let us know...

 

No. We aren't telling the boys until school is over to make it a little easier on them.

 

That's good to hear...I was afraid, from what you said, there was a chance she would just go right to them irrationally. BUt this is better news.

 

sorry for your pain brother.if you need me,i'll help however i can.