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Fantasy Knuckleheads

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Jared Lorezen: The “Pillsbury Throw-Boy” Resurfaces

February 10, 2014 by AR Harmon

"The Abominable Throwman"

"The Round Mound of Touchdown"

The media has been abuzz about the size of former New York Giant and Kentucky Wildcat Jared Lorenzen. Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.

"He Ate Me"

The "Hefty Lefty", Jared Lorenzen, has been sighted. Although you could likely see the QB from the moon, it's been some time since the former Kentucky Wildcat has been in the news. This past week, images and video of Eli's old back-up went viral as Lorenzen was seen carrying a let's say, "larger" frame than any other quarterback on this planet. Now the GM and starting gunslinger for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the CIFL, Lorenzen has been featured on ESPN, TMZ, and just about every other news outlet. Listed at 320 pounds quite conservatively, football fans and non-football fans alike have been stunned at seeing what looks like a nose tackle nimbly scurrying around while making plays outside of the pocket.

Normally when a former second string quarterback goes on to play semi-pro football in front of a few hundred fans, it goes largely unnoticed.  But missing Lorenzen would be like standing in the desert and not seeing sand.  Looking much closer to 400 pounds, the ex-New York Giant appears to be prepping for a role in Man Vs. Food, rather than planning a comeback in the NFL.  A long way from the SEC and Met Life Stadium, Lorenzen is seen bulldozing men half his size.

Lorenzen has enjoyed the media attention he has garnered this past week telling Jim Rome of CBS Sports, "It was really fun.  I had a great time.  Trust me, man, if I knew all of this was to come, because I look God-awful in white, I probably would have changed my colors."

Category - Twisted Sports - Jared Lorezen: The “Pillsbury Throw-Boy” Resurfaces

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