• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • In-Season Rankings
    • Standard
    • PPR
  • Waiver Wire
  • Members Only
    • DFS LU TOOL
    • Player Tracker
    • Forum
    • Cheat Sheets
    • Log In
  • Join
Fantasy Knuckleheads

Fantasy Knuckleheads

Fantasy sports news, rankings, sleepers, cheat sheets, stats and tools.

“Will the Real Bears’ Safety Please Stand Up” – The Chicago Bear Parody Version of Eminem’s Hit

September 3, 2014 by James Kienzler

May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will, the Real Bears safety please stand up?

I repeat, will the Real Bears’ Safety please stand up?

...We’re gonna have a problem here.

 

Y’all act like you never seen a good safety before

Jaws all on the floor, like Mike Brown just burst through the door

And started sacking the QB worse than before

He first were all pro, throwing them all on the floor

 

It’s the return of the, “Ah wait, no way, you’re kidding.

He didn’t just take what I think he did, PEDing?”

And Mel Tucker callin… nothing you idiots,

Mel Tucker be bawlin, he’s crying on the sidelines

 

Offensive guru’s love the Bears D,

::Ditka, Ditka, Ditka:: “Bears’ safety, I’m in love with them

Look at them, walking around, missin’ the should be tackles,

Blowin’ off the coverage assignments, yea and they so slow too”

 

Yeah, they probably got a couple of screws up in their head loose

But no worse, than what’s going on in the ex-players lawsuit.

Sometimes, safeties wanna get on twitter. and just trend, but can’t

But it’s cool for Seahawks to bump a tight end

“My hands are in your face, my hands are in your face,

And if you’re lucky, we might give you a little brace”

 

And that’s the message that Goodell delivers to all the fans

And expect them not to know when the “bear down” really spans.

 

Of course they gonna know how bad the Bears defense rans

By the time they finish the fourth game

Rodgers will have put poor Conte to shame

“They ain’t nothing but back ups” well, some of them crackups

Who let high school players look like grownups

But if they can lose to reserves and a fourth string

Then there’s no reason that all other teams cant put down a beating

 

So if you feel like I feel, I have the pepto-bismol

Fans wave your rally flags, drink beer and the pain’ll dull

 

Im the Bears safety, yes I’m the Bears’ safety

All you other NFL safeties are just way too good

So wont the Real Bears’ safety please stand up

Please stand up, Please stand up

 

Jarrius Byrd don’t gotta hold in scheme to be all pro

Well we do, cause Byrd be fast and Danny McCay is to slow

You think the Trestman gives a damn about what the defense say?

Half of the reporters cant even stomach replay, let alone game day

 

“But coach, what if they score? Wouldn’t it be logical”

Why? Can’t you guys just go ahead and leave me blissful?

And don’t leave me sitting me here next to Coach John Fox.

Shoot, Jim and John Harbaugh better switch me jocks

So I can sit between Mike McCarthy and Jim Caldwell

And hear ‘em argue who’ll give us our playoff farewell”

 

You crazy fools, put us on Not-Top-10

“The Bears defense is in shambles, let’s cut to ESPN”

They should download the game plan on their iPhones

And show the whole world how well they dance in our end zone.

 

I am sick of all your west coast offenses, all you do is score on us

Yet there is really nothing that we can do to discuss

Because there’s a million points to be scored,

That’ll leave us floored, with no chance for dignity to be restored.

 

That can’t be ignored, while we stand there to be gored.

And it’s just going to keep getting worse, so please help us Lord!

 

Cause I’m the Bears safety, yes I’m the Bears’ safety

All you other NFL safeties are just way too good

So won’t the Real Bears’ safety please stand up

Please stand up, Please stand up

Category - NFL Coverage - “Will the Real Bears’ Safety Please Stand Up” – The Chicago Bear Parody Version of Eminem’s Hit

Dominate Your League

Primary Sidebar

Recent Articles

  • Fantasy Football Draft Psychology: How To Outsmart Your League Mates

    Fantasy Football Draft Psychology: How To Outsmart Your League Mates

  • Which Quarterback Should You Draft in 2021?

    Which Quarterback Should You Draft in 2021?

  • Team Defense Committee vs Streaming Draft Strategy

    Team Defense Committee vs Streaming Draft Strategy

  • Week 16 Waiver Wire Pickups

    Week 16 Waiver Wire Pickups

  • Week 15 Waiver Wire Pickups

    Week 15 Waiver Wire Pickups

Need To Know

  • Fantasy Football Rankings
  • Average Draft Position (ADP) Report
  • Fantasy Football Draft Projections
  • The Best Waiver Wire Picks
  • Best Optimal Lineup Tool
  • ESPN Insider Coupon Code
  • Premium Fantasy Football Draft Guide
  • Fantasy Football Projections Video Series

Footer

ABOUT US

Established in the summer of 2009, Fantasy Knuckleheads is devoted to providing quality fantasy football news, advice, cheat sheets, tools and services. We’re not a mega-sports-site that churns out content by the pound. We’re simply a small, tight knit group of fantasy experts turned writers that love what we do, especially when we’re right. We strive to tell you something you don’t already know that’s actionable and at the very least, informative.

Fantasy Blog Network

Get This <a href="https://fantasyknuckleheads.com" title="Fantasy Football Rankings"><b>Fantasy Football for all you knuckleheads</b></a>

INFORMATION

  • Staff
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
  • Write For Us
  • Fantasy Sports Widget

Copyright © 2023 · Fantasy Knuckleheads ·

Copyright © 2023 · Magazine Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in