Resume Question

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by Mike, May 7, 2014.

  1. Mike

    Mike Want some Cheetos?

    For the first time ever, I'm having to create a resume for a position I'm applying for. The problem is, I don't have alot of information to provide. Outside my job history and my objective, I don't really have anything else to add. Can anyone offer any pointers or ideas
  2. Walnuts

    Walnuts Not jivin a carp GIF OG

    Dick pics. Lots of dick pics.
    Omen likes this.
  3. Steve12

    Steve12 The night is dark and full of terrors GIF OG

    Lie.

    Or... dick pics.
  4. 86WARD

    86WARD NFL's Dirtiest Player Staff Member GIF OG Premium Member

    Try to keep it to one page if possible but if you have a lot of experience, it could be hard to do that.

    Do Education, Work Experience, Activities, Computer Experience, AOther Skills & Certifications. You can include a similar page of references too...
    Omen likes this.
  5. Kurt

    Kurt That Server Guy Staff Member GIF OG Fantasy Guru

    TIP #1

    List accomplishments for each place you worked.. how you impacted the bottom line and corp. shtuff that matters.

    example: Job Title, Burger Flipper @ Harry D's Slushy Farm 1996 to 2014

    Increased product production by optimizing the workflow efficiency amongst team members. Lowered waste thereby increasing company profits by 8 percent.

    TIP #2

    Read the companies website.. if they don't have a website call the sales department and ask them about the company, chat it up and be informed about where you're headed.


    TIP #3

    Use the company missions / goals to help you craft a solid objective - and - include the companies name in the objective.

    TIP #4

    In the work experience areas, craft the opening sentence to match needs of the position which you're applying.

    TIP #5

    Have a couple pre-planned questions to ask about the company, this helps you stand out from the rest of the pot heads that run in and run out like a bunch of scared... example: I noticed on your website you have a new product coming out, how does this position impact future product development?


    Do these things and even if you're not as qualified (as others) you'll stand out from start to finish.
    Aussie61, 86WARD, TJ and 1 other person like this.
  6. TJ

    TJ Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All GIF OG

    About the length of the document, I think it depends on the company. I used to have my resume within only one page (as years went by it got harder, but still possible). Then I applied to a company last year, they wanted full details of everything I had ever done in my career. It ended up as an 8-page document.

    Personally, when I look at resumes to hire people, I expected them to be as short and concise as possible. A 3+ page resume probably won't be read entirely.
    Aussie61 and Omen like this.
  7. Mike

    Mike Want some Cheetos?

    It is for an intercompany promotion. They have most to all of the info already. Ive got it to a one page resume at the moment.
  8. Omen

    Omen Speeling Be Champions Staff Member GIF OG

    Never lie because assholes like me will actually follow through and call you on it. Then it goes to shits.
    markaz and Aussie61 like this.
  9. 86WARD

    86WARD NFL's Dirtiest Player Staff Member GIF OG Premium Member

    But do you make sure the dick pics add up in the interview?!?
  10. Omen

    Omen Speeling Be Champions Staff Member GIF OG

    Keep it to one page then out a bit about further references or info will be provided upon request. Although I've only had 2 jobs and my own business In last 14 years but had many accomplishments. I kept my resume to one page but provided 4 pages of further references and accomplishments
  11. Kurt

    Kurt That Server Guy Staff Member GIF OG Fantasy Guru

    Since it's an inter-company - you need to still do all the tips but add this to your arsenal:

    Since you know what the position is about, come with ideas to present to the panel on:

    1. how things could be improved - don't come off cocky or negative, simply ask if the idea you have might be a good one.
    2. explain how your current experience doing XYZ will aid you in performing at a high level at the position which you're applying.
    Aussie61, Walnuts and Mike like this.
  12. Walnuts

    Walnuts Not jivin a carp GIF OG

    When Ive been the guy reading the resume, I've generally gravitated towards the ones that kept it concise and didn't try to over-exaggerate or get all grandiose about things, and in turn come off as fake and trying too hard. Don't overthink it, keep it simple, and don't try to make your history sound like something it's not. Let your experience, skills, and accomplishments speak for themselves, for better or worse. You're not going to amaze anyone by spouting bullshit about how your time as a fry cook in high school taught you how to work as a team player in a demanding high-stress work environment and prepared you to take over the world of business or some such nonsense, you're just going to come off as insincere and/or be viewed as trying to BS your way into a job.

    The most important thing to me on a resume wasn't how much you could talk yourself up, and make yourself sound like the greatest thing to enter the American workforce since the wheel was invented, it was the actual work history itself...how long you hold jobs, how much and how quickly you were able to move up in those jobs, and why you leave them when you leave. I'd usually take someone with minimal or no experience in the field, but a solid job history (extended periods employed at one place and no attendance issues were the biggest things in my eyes) and good work ethic over someone who had the experience but was constantly bouncing from job to job and never sticking anywhere. And really, the resume generally meant fuck all when it came down to it, it was how you interviewed and how you came across in person that had the biggest impact on your chances.

    If it's for an intercompany promotion, I wouldn't even really trip on it, personally. They assumedly already know you well, know what you have to offer, already know if you'd be right for the gig or not, and having a dope resume probably isn't going to make or break your chances. Just dash off your work history and write an honest paragraph or two stating why you want the job in question and why you'd be a good choice...and again, keep it concise and straightforward. Don't sell yourself short on anything, but don't try and oversell yourself either. Like I said, they already know you, and if you're going to get the job it won't be because of your resume, it'll be because you've already done a good job with them, proven yourself, and deserve the promotion.
    Omen, TJ, Aussie61 and 2 others like this.
  13. Walnuts

    Walnuts Not jivin a carp GIF OG

    Don't forget the dick pics, though.
  14. LebaneseFF

    LebaneseFF Error loading Staff Member GIF OG Premium Member

    I review resumes everyday and I agree with Walnuts on all. a few more pointers here.

    1. Keep it concise as Walnuts said that means - 1 PAGE no more. unless you really have tones to brag about (even if this was a different company, to me the most off-putting resumes are the ones with 2 or more pages)
    2. Stick to accomplishments that mean something. Not for you but for the company.
    3. Make sure the spelling/grammar is spot on. personally I don't care but most of my colleagues turn down a resume at first site of a mistake
    4. Because it's inter-company - Try to find out who else is applying for the position and see what else they have on there. Usually those are a good source to see if you are missing anything
    5. Core Competencies - HR departments are trained to look for these. Know what yours are and make sure they ARE ALL INTENTIONED on the resume.

    If you ever want anyone to look it over. Let me know
    SRW likes this.
  15. Omen

    Omen Speeling Be Champions Staff Member GIF OG

    @Walnuts and @LebaneseFF are spot on.

    I've seen peoples resumes that have had 10 jobs in less than a year and that a red flag.
    Kurt, markaz and TJ like this.
  16. Mike

    Mike Want some Cheetos?

    Heres a fun fact, I'm most likely the only person applying for this job that doesnt have a college degree
  17. Walnuts

    Walnuts Not jivin a carp GIF OG

    A) Does the job require a degree?
    B) Do any of your have a degree in anything applicable to the position?

    If the answer to either or both of those is no, then it shouldn't have a huge impact on anything. Unless you need a degree to get the job, or have a degree relevant to your job, all it really is is some flair on a resume. It does show you probably have dedication and drive, at least a decent work ethic, and some intelligence (presumedly), but 4 years of solid work history instead of college shows the exact same thing.
  18. Mike

    Mike Want some Cheetos?

    It is a requirement for the position but my boss said appy anyways. I've got 9 years experience to rely on
    re
  19. DawkinsINT

    DawkinsINT Chip Chip Hooray! GIF OG

    Experience wins out over having a degree in a serious company.
    Omen, 86WARD, Mike and 1 other person like this.
  20. markaz

    markaz Resident Cards Fan Staff Member GIF OG

    If you're applying to a another company and don't know anyone there, work experience or not, the degree is paramount. I personally think it's bullshit, but that's the way of the real world.

    I sat on the Recruiting Committee of a pharmaceutical company for 7 years and looked at hundreds/maybe thousands resumes. Almost universal among the committee members was the importance of beginning your resume with the proper information that makes the reader want to continue reading. Stating a bunch of unrelated BS in your opening salvo will only invite the trash can before you get to the meat and potatoes.

    1. THE critical component to any resume is the very first section called "Profile of Qualifications". In one or two bullet points or very short paragraphs (two to three lines max.) tell the reader what in your background makes you the best candidate for the position you are applying for. Hypothetically, let's say the job you're applying for is Inventory Control Manager. Be very specific in this first section what you have done in your work experience that will make you the logical candidate for the Inventory Control Manager. Anything you may have done that is related to inventory speak to that and how your methods improved inventory control.

    ALWAYS speak to the job you are applying for and leave unrelated support activities for later in the resume. Anything you can say that is directly related to the new position grabs the attention of the reader and they'll read on.

    2. Even though this is an inter company hire ALWAYS include a cover letter. This would explain your desire for the position in paragraph one, the second paragraph is a a very brief synopsis of your background and how it relates to the position you are applying for and close with offering references if requested and if they need further information you'd be tickled shitless to provide it. And last but not least, close with thanking them for spending their valuable time to review your qualifications. DO NOT included references in the resume. They chew up space and the people reviewing the resume document don't really give a shit about 3 or four names and their phone number/email address. The cover letter will offer these only if they are requested.

    3. While it is preferred is to keep the resume brief, if you have something in your background that needs to be included and it requires the start of page two, create page two. Anything that explains/highlights why you are the best candidate for that specific job should be included even if it takes second page to include it.

    3. What @Omen said is true....if you've had multiple jobs in a very few years that's a red flag, but explain why each one of them ended. DON'T LIE. If two job were very closed related, include them as one and explain. Any company that is worth a shit will do its due diligence and if they find you lied or exaggerated in any way, it's over.

    Bottom line.......gear everything in your resume, including work experience, to the position you're applying for and why your are the perfect fit.
    Last edited: May 10, 2014
    LebaneseFF and TJ like this.

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