Dear Diary: My Wife Has Filed For Divorce.

Today was one of the most insane days of my life. I still can't believe how much shirt went down in regards to really important shirt about my future.

The divorce situation:
Monday is our early divorce settlement date. Both sides are supposed to try to reach an agreement together so everything can be finalized on Monday. My wife rejected our settlement proposal with a truly ridiculous response that would basically free her of any debt and we would pay her on top of that. My lawyer broke down their counter-proposal with something very beneficial to both sides. They did not respond. That means we will go in front of a panel of divorce attorneys and each present our case and facts. The panel will then get together and say what they feel a court would decide. 80% of couples agree to what they propose. If they do, the divorce is usually finalized the same day. If she doesn't agree to what they say, then we go to a full divorce trial which gets expensive. My soon-to-be ex-wife can be very stubborn, but she has to realize that it would become very expensive for her not to agree. Fingers crossed.

My work situation:
To recap, my employer of the past 21 years sold our division to another company. The company they sold us to did not keep any employees. They wanted me alone from our entire sales staff, but on the condition that I move to upstate NY. I said no. They continued to talk to me, and I drove up there on Wednesday for extensive interviews with 3 different people in their management team. Today they gave me an offer to work from home, and I would be making more than I currently do.

Upon getting that offer, I called another company that gave me an offer previously to decline their proposal. They countered it with an offer even better than the other company, and I would also be able to work with my previous boss who is like family to me since I've worked with her for 21 years.

Bottom line, I'm going to make more money...and also get a really nice severance package from my current employer. I knew I had a good reputation in our industry, but I'm stunned that I'm actually going to make more money.

A day of complete insanity that I can't believe all occurred at once. Still a ton more to do on both fronts, but I honestly feel that I'm going to come out of this much, much better than originally expected.

 

Thanks, Mark. I'm totally going to sell the house. This one has 5 bedrooms and is way too big for just me. I want to find a fairly small 2 or 3 bedroom home.

 

I'm officially divorced. Things went better than I expected. From an absolute fairness standpoint I got kind of screwed, but compared to what could have gone down I'm not upset. I'm glad I finally will be able to move on.

 

Good to hear, man, good to hear.

 

Thanks, guys.

She started playing Words With Friends with me about a half hour ago. I know it seems like something small and trivial, but it's a huge sign that she does not want to end contact with me as I had feared.

She also said that she has no problem with me talking to the boys on Skype. There is no schedule to see the boys, as I was going to wait a month or so to let things settle down before I brought it up. These are great signs that she will not have a problem with it going forward. My fears of being cut off from them are greatly relieved.

 

Good news Dawk! Glad to hear it's working out "better than expected."

 

At 4:59pm, I entered a sales order for my company. At 5pm, I officially became unemployed. 21 1/2 years with the company, and I worked up until the last minute.

On the 18th of this month a company is flying me out to Vancouver, WA. I will officially be employed by them on the 19th. My base salary will be for $7k more a year. They also have bonus structures that could pay me up to an additional $30k (more likely it will be $10k in the first year).

While I certainly have my fears about treading into unknown waters after years of comfortability, I'm excited about what very likely will be a really big advancement for my career.

2014 is the strangest year of my life.

 

All I can tell you, Dawk, is embrace the change.

Life is what you make of it.

And don't be afraid to look out for number one.

We all have your back.

 

I only have number one to look out for now. Haha.

 

What the shirt? Wanna get a beer?

 

I won't be able to on this trip since they have our schedule jam packed. How close to there do you live? I'll back in the future for sure.

 

Don't kill the messenger but I have to chime in here, Dawk

Everything we've learned about her from you points more to an obvious void in her self serving, self involved life. Of course she's going to miss all the good you've brought to her life along with the boys. Please don't let your righteous yearning for the situation you've invested in all this time. That's over, my friend. Don't lose sight of that. This move on her part smacks of familiarity lost instead of connection.

She will offer glimmers of hope that are self centered adjustments she'll make for what she's realizes she's lost with this move of hers. Center more on what is primary which is keeping a connection to the boys. Hopefully that's what you see as a positive of her striving to stay connected but for not a sec, do you allow emotion in about a possible reconciliation with her.

If that's even a slim chance, she earns that thru time. Don't bend on this cuz if that was an option, she needs to do the heavy lifting to impress you with her commitment. You making it easier will just bring back the pain of her doing this passion play all over again in the future.

The boys...it's nothing else but about the boys at this stage.

Of course, if it's your mindset already....nevermind...& good luck with the days ahead. :cheers:

 

Thanks so much for those words and advice, Tarkus. Reconciliation is definitely not going to happen. While I love her still on certain levels, her actions have more than thrown away the kind of trust one needs for true love.

 

You're still my hero, Dawk...

 

A pretty funny and f--ked up thing happened to me today in relation to both my divorce and new job.

I've been looking for office space to start my new job in. I called a building owner today and he told me had space available. It's a former post office building that he turned into multiple offices, mostly for attorneys like himself. I drove there to meet him and check it out.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed one of the office spaces belongs to my ex-wife's divorce lawyer. I laughed to myself and went inside.

I told him, "It's kind of funny. I was divorced last week, and Ms. Baggett was my ex's attorney". He smiled and said, "Oh, she happens to be my wife. She's a nice lady though and does not hold grudges". We both laughed.

Turns out, the office space is the best I've found so far. There is a really good chance that I end up in the same building as Holly's lawyer. I hold no grudges against her as she seemed to reel in some of Holly's demands.

It will be so hilarious if I end up working there though.

 

Watch, Murphy's Law will kick in right after you sign a lease & the lawyer will put out a 500' protection order on you. Your desk will be at the curb...