The Good, the Bad and the Ugly; Week 2

Discussion in 'NFL General Discussion' started by steeljake75, Sep 20, 2015.

  1. steeljake75

    steeljake75 Rookie

    Week 2 started in Denver and will officially end tomorrow night in Indianapolis and while we have along way to go some teams have shown us what they might be down the line. I will grant you some overreaction is bound to happen, for example Cincinnati being 2-0 certainly does not mean they will be a playoff contender nor will Dallas for that matter, but to say the Patriots look like they might be Super Bowl bound is not that much of a stretch. We have more teams in the Ugly this week than in the Bad and that trend will most likely continue. We teams that laid eggs, teams that got away with a win and even a few who played well.

    Let's kick it off with a these four things I know are true, nob to Mr. Kellerman of course:

    - Gary Kubiak might be the head coach on paper... but 18 runs the offense... his way.

    - If you are the Vikings and AP doesn't touch the ball at least 30 times, you will lose.

    - If Dallas keeps winning and losing players Troy Aikman will be playing by week 6.

    - Jay Cutler is the only starting qb in the league that gives his team a better chance of winning by being hurt and not able to play.

    We have all manner of hate and love to dish out so let's set the table and serve it up!!!

    The Good

    - Denver Broncos

    For the first quarter Peyton ran Kubiak's offense... but somewhere in the commercial break this conversation was over heard:

    18: Hey Coach, you know I could really go for a Coke right about now.
    Kubiak: Well I think they only have Pepsi here...
    18: I know coach but I saw a Sheetz about 4 or 5 miles down the road on the way in and I could really go for a Coke...
    Kubiak: OK... I will get someone to run out there. Now on the next possession I wanna run...
    18: Coach, coach... I am sorry to interrupt but I only trust you to get me that Coke. You are the best at it ya know...
    (at this point Elway shows up on the sideline)
    7: Yea coach ya know I trust you to take care of Peyton, that's what I hired ya for...
    Kubiak: Oh... ok then boss. To the Sheetz I go...
    Bum Phillips Jr. (aka Wade): I sure could go for a steak sandwich with fires on it...
    7: And a snickers bar...
    Kubiak: Ok I will I be back asap.
    18: Drive slow, the cops are out...
    At this point Kubiak leaves, Elway turns to Manning and they fist bump and he he leaves...
    18: Ok Wade, you keep the D on fire I go the rest... ok?
    Bum Jr.: Yessir Mr. Manning

    And then the offense came to life, the defense played lights out and the Chiefs choked and lost a divisional game that will haunt them all year. 2 ugly wins is still 2 wins. On to next week!!!

    - New England Patriots

    Talk is cheap and Bellicheat is a rich man. The score doesn't tell the real story, but you can bet your bottom dollar Bill wanted Rex and Tyrod to know this is his division. I think I heard Bellicheat say" If you don't know, now ya know." Just another step on the road to the Super Bowl... do your job!!!

    - Buffalo Bills

    Yup you lost and made it to the good. Only Rex and the Bills fans thought you had a chance. i put you here to troll the Pats fans to be honest. You guys are ok, I mean you aren't Chicago bad, but you aren't top tier team. I hear Atlanta will trade Rex Grossman...

    P.S. Hey Tyrod... Welcome to the NFL... <3 Bellicheat.

    - Arizona Cardinals

    Ok... I know you guys played the Bears and that is almost like a guaranteed win, but still. Palmer looks like he is throwing it to 85 and TJ Whos-yo-momma again and you have a running game now too? I called this team to win the division and I stand by it... for now. I wonder if Denny Green was happy that the Cards beat the Bears?

    - Cincinnati Bengals

    I waited for the Bungles to show up... and they sure tried. For now the Bengals are the Bengals, but we all know you guys will melt down. it is a fact of life, just like a fat kid getting ice cream on his dress shirt, or Adam Jones not being able to count to 20 unless he was barefoot or wearing sandals. We just have to be patient...

    - Cleveland Browns

    Johnny Football has arrived.... bwhahahahahaha!!1 Yea I didn't buy that either. here is what happened this week. Tennessee played bad Bucs team and believed the hype then they went on the road against a decent defense with a rookie qb and got their bell rung. The Browns are not as bad as say the Bears but they aren't as good as say the Bills. But they are better than a Titans team in full rebuild mode. 5 wins for Cleveland is huge... almost there guys!!!

    - Minnesota Adrian Peterson's

    Math lesson time...

    where AP = Adrian Peterson and t = Touches by AP
    AP + 10t =Loss
    AP + 30t = Win

    Got it? Good. NEXT!

    - Tamp Bay Bucs

    You guys did everything you could to give Drew Brees this game but he wouldn't take it. Nice win I guess, one of these days you will play a real team.

    - Atlanta Falcons

    Matty Ice just had to wait until the Giants realized that they were the Giants and then he could cruise off with a win. 2 wins halfway to what it will take to win the NFC South so good on ya fellas!!!

    - Washington Redskins

    This 'Good' is for the game plan Jay Gruden had. Negate that pass rush and powerful d-line by running screens, draws and counters. Two running backs that can flat out burn it down help to make it look like Cousins just might be a QB. He isn't, but they did win. Congrats.

    - Jacksonville Jaguars

    The winner of this year's interstate AFC bowl is the Jags. Wow... nice job. I am not sure if Jacksonville is any good or Miami is just that bad, but a win is a win. Yah!!!

    - Oakland Raiders

    Everyone knows I hate Oakland, but I hate the Ravens more. Nice win guys, enjoy the few you get each year. Try not to all get arrested at the same time tonight though. Sebastian Janokowski needs another beer!!!!

    - Green Bay Packers

    This is the best team in the NFC and a favorite for the Super Bowl. A little to call? Not when you play defense like this and have Aaron Rogers. Just R-E-L-A-X.

    The Good is all done finally now it is on to those not quite bad enough to be ugly but before we do, here is a musical interlude:


    Now back to our regular scheduled program:

    The Bad

    - Carolina Panthers

    Yes I know you're 2-0. And I know I said earlier ugly wins were ok, but you are 2-0 against 2 really bad teams. Call me when you can beat a pro level squad, not an SEC team.

    - Miami Dolphins

    If I didn't have 11 teams in the ugly you would have landed there. Every year I hear in pre-season how the Dolphins are gonna make some noise. Scraping by the Redskins and losing to the Jags is the wrong kind of noise people. When was the last time this team was relevant anyways? 2 super bowl wins in the 70's, that 84-94 ish time with Marino and that whole wild cat thing is all I can recall. Some let me know...

    - Baltimore Ravens

    Steve Smith is a beast. That keeps this team out of Uggo-land. For now. Joe Flacco is still overrated. Dammit man I hate Baltimore.

    - Dallas Cowboys

    Another win with a loss. Romo is out at least 6 weeks now. No Dez, and Brandon Weeden is the back up. Better fire up that run game.

    - Seattle Seahawks

    Whatever the deal is with Kam Chancellor they better figure out quickly. 0-2 is the way to start a 3rd straight run at a Super Bowl. Has anyone heard from Jeremy Graham since he went there as well? After all the hype you still have to play the game... and this is the result.

    The Good and bad have come and gone. Now it is time to call it like we see it, to let the millionaires know how we really feel... while they cry all the way to the bank of course.... play my music!!!

    The Ugly​

    - Kansas City Chiefs

    Were is Denny Green when ya need him!!! Game plan was simple: Hand the ball to Charles and all will be cool. Cept that Chuckie has butter fingers... Ok... So now we have Alex Smith throw short passes and keep us in... oh wait... ALex is color blind and thinks red and white are the same color. Scratch that. 6 turnovers and they are still in it and the dude who compared himself to Lebron James does what King James does... coughs it up in the 4th. I hear that Andy Reid's Mustchae tried to drink a gallon of Waffle House syrup after the game...

    - Houston Texans

    Can JJ Watt play QB? Call me crazy but I bet Coach Bill O'Brien has thought about it... Jeez what a waste of a good defense.

    - Chicago Bears

    <deep breath>
    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha
    <deep breath> Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha
    <deep breath> Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha

    You get the idea right?

    - Tennessee Titans

    Yea... you guys suck. Maybe not Chicago suck, but pretty close. I am laughing a little... bwah-ha.

    - Detroit Lions

    Well... are we ready to go back to drafting badly and losing 12 a games a year yet? I think I may have seen a few paper bags in the stands already. Still think you're better off with Suh?

    - New Orleans Saints

    Speaking of fans wearing paper bags on their heads... What the heck is going on down in the Big Easy? Sean and Rob are bound to be fired if they can't get this thing turned around. Even Drew Brees doesn't know what to say.

    - New York Football Giants

    You had it... again. You bumbled it away... again. Come on Blue Crew get your head out of your tuckus. You guys are not a great team by any means but you are not this bad. Fix it please... right meow!!

    - San Fransico 49ers

    You guys are so bad...

    <How bad are they??!?!?!>

    You made it look like the Steelers had a defense.

    Seriously... you beat the Viking cuz they didn't follow the AP equation. You suck... bad. Like Chicago bad. Enjoy that 5 hour plane ride home. I heard James Harrison prepped the ice cubes for your drinks...

    - St. Louis Rams

    Play hard against Seattle at home... go on the road and make the Skins look like John Riggins is running the rock behind the Hogs. Ok, maybe I skewed a little old on that reference but you have Google so look it up. What are we waiting for with Gurly anyways? Let's see why you drafted him already!!!

    - Philadelphia Eagles

    High flying offense my big ol' butt. Chip Kelly has had some things said about him that just kind of rolled off of him... but that was because was winning. 0-2 in most places is just a little problem... in Philly you are one foot out of the door and no you can't take a couple of cheese steaks from Pat's with you. Panic button being pushed in 3,2......

    That is all we have for this week people. This is only my opinion and that and $134.28 will rent you a 2014 Corrola that does 90 in a flash for a few days. Tune is next week when we will here Rex Ryans say: : I felt Tom Brady's balls before and after the gamae and they felt firm to me."

    Hit us on twitter @GBUCentral, email: and on facebook:
    TJ likes this.
  2. smeags

    smeags militant geek

    when you cut ties with two pretty damn good OG's and replace them with s**t one has to expect the results the eagles are seeing.

    hey chip, maybe you might want to draft an olineman some day.
    steeljake75 likes this.
  3. Diesel44

    Diesel44 Serial Killer

    Eagles will bounce back cause they play the skins two times! lol
    steeljake75 likes this.
  4. TJ

    TJ Dez Caught It

    This reminds me a lot of the power rankings thing I used to write with some guy. Keep up the good work.
    steeljake75 likes this.
  5. SportsChump

    SportsChump Well-Known

  6. Buck Fenson

    Buck Fenson formerly Jake from State Farm

    Maybe Jeremy Graham needs to go find his brother Jimmy. But seriously, can anyone remember a trade in which both sides were not happy?
    steeljake75 likes this.
  7. SportsChump

    SportsChump Well-Known

    Or maybe he needs to churn more butter.
    steeljake75 and Buck Fenson like this.