For playoff bound teams, there are only two options: make a late surge or fall off the proverbial cliff. I like to think of Fantasy Football as an episode of Survivor without all the stupid challenges, voting, and cast (ok, ok, “competitors”). Meaning, all that matters at the end of week 16 (or 17 in some leagues) is who is left standing, who remains, torch in hand, triumphantly perched atop a mountain of defeated fantasy corpses.
Sometimes, you have to get cute. At this point in the season, all that matters is points and wins. If you’ve been giving a guy an opportunity to produce based on potential and he hasn’t been, bench him. I have a 7-3 team that is 0-3 in the past three weeks, in large part due to lack of production from LeGarette Blount. The Bucs have looked terrible. They have fallen into a pattern of getting behind early and then throwing to catch up. That’s not their game. But this week they have the Packers. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 0-3 and trending downwards is about as desperate as you can get. Welcome to the starting lineup, Kregg Lumpkin! (Yes, I’m totally serious.) Do I think he’s a stud? Not at all. Do I think he’ll have more fantasy points at the end of the day than Blount? Absolutely. Do I have a better option? Sadly, no. In another deeper league, I have both Texans RBs on a bye (yes, I’ve been using both in my starting lineup) and Ahmad Bradshaw probably won’t play. I need points in the lineup. As you can imagine, in deep leagues, the RB waiver wire is about as thin as Kate Moss on a 3-day fast. Come on down, Kendall Hunter and DJ Ware! I could see the 49ers-Cardinals game getting out of hand pretty quickly, and if that’s the case Hunter could see a lot of garbage time as a banged-up Frank Gore finds some well needed rest. Is it pretty? Of course not. But I’ll say it again: all you need are points.
To that end, here’s the players I would most trust to get me those well-needed points, conveniently placed for you in the order in which I would trust them. Amazing! YOu can tweet questions, comments, or theoretical discussions regarding the nature of man to: petethegreekff
Bon Appetit
1. Adrian Peterson
2. LeSean McCoy
3. Matt Forte
4. DeMarco Murray
5. Calvin Johnson
6. Ray Rice
7. Michael Bush
8. Fred Jackson
9. Maurice Jones-Drew
10. Michael Turner
11. Steven Jackson
12. Chris Johnson
13. Greg Jennings
14. Wes Welker
15. Frank Gore
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The Big Boys
Calvin Johnson should bounce back from his worst game of the season. I think he’ll be just fine. I’ve gone back on my promise to have McCoy at the top for the rest of the season, but with good reason. The Eagles looked terrible last week. The Dream Team is officially over, and looking significantly more like a nightmare. Everything else is fairly ho-hum-nothing-to-see-here-move-along-sir so, let’s do that...
16. Shonn Greene
17. Larry Fitzgerald
18. Steve Smith
19. Antonio Gates
20. Ryan Matthews
21. Dez Bryant
22. Marshawn Lynch
23. Willis McGahee
24. Brandon Lloyd
25. Rob Gronkowski
26. Johnathan Stewart
27. Brandon Marshall
28. Hakeem Nicks
29. Brandon Jacobs
30. Reggie Bush
Upside, and My, You’re Cute
I am quite certain that someone will ask in the comment section below, “Say Chaz, you really telling me to play Johnathan Stewart over Hakeem Nicks! Man, who pays you for this. You’re nuts. I’m never reading this column again!” OK. Fine. I like upside. Stewart is getting the goal line carries, he has a ton of talent, and I’d like to see Detroit play well against the run. Just once. Maybe twice. Yes, I’m probably higher on Stewart than anyone else, but I think he could have a really nice game here. Welcome back, Reggie Bush! The committee missed you. We’re all glad you haven't vanished. Brandon Jacobs feels much more like a “who else?” ranking than anything, but whatever. I have a really, really strange feeling that St. Louis- Seattle could be the shootout of the week. What kind of world are we living in where that is the case!? Can we please, please just pick one tight end in New England? If one of those guys goes down, the other becomes an insta-stud. For this week, I’m gambling on Gronk, again. I guess. You know who is league-worst against tight ends? Yeah, that would be the Bears. This just in: Antonio Gates is a pretty good tight end.
31. Vincent Jackson
32. Roddy White
33. Cedric Benson
34. AJ Green
35. Jordy Nelson
36. Beanie Wells
37. Steve Johnson
38. Jason Witten
39. Anquan Boldin
40. Denarius Moore
41. Mario Manningham
42. Tony Gonzalez
43. Kregg Lumpkin
44. Victor Cruz
45. Jermichael Finley
46. Desean Jackson
47. Santonio Holmes
48. Aaron Hernandez
49. Percy Harvin
50. Laurent Robinson
Some Strange Questions
What’s the deal with Desean Jackson? Will AJ Green or Steve Johnson play? Are the Vikings actually making a more concerted effort to get the ball to Percy Harvin? Is Denarius Moore for real? The answers to the above questions, as I see them right now are, respectively: he’s a baby, maybe, probably, and yes. How’s that for clarity? If Green plays, he should be moved way up the list. Steve Johnson has looked subpar even when he does play, but that is mainly due to Fitzpatrick’s sudden case of the Grossmans. Oh, look! A Kregg Lumpkin sighting! I said I was playing him over Blount, and I meant it. I’m probably too low on Manningham and Roddy White, especially given that Julio Jones probably isn’t playing. White should be in your lineups, I just don’t love him as much as some.
51. Lance Ball
52. Legarette Blount
53. Earl Bennet
54. Plaxico Burress
55. Greg Olsen
56. James Starks
57. Jackie Battle
58. Brandon Pettigrew
59. Damian Williams
60. Chris Ogbannaya
61. Fred Davis
62. Michael Crabtree
63. Deion Branch
64. Kendall Hunter
65. Marion Barber
66. Eric Decker
67. Vernon Davis
68. Daniel Thomas
69. Greg Little
70. Harry Douglas
71. BenJarvus Green-Ellis
72. Maurice Morris
73. Vincent Brown
74. Torrey Smith
75. Early Doucet
Scraping the Barrel
This is basically the “if you need them” category. I actually really like Earl Bennet this week. He has 11 catches for 176 yards in two games since returning from injury, and that includes a game last week where the Bears didn’t even need to throw: their defense handled most of the scoring. Why haven’t we heard of Vincet Brown before? He had a great game last Thursday (which you also probably missed if you ‘re 90% of America and don’t have the NFL Network). While I dislike the matchup, the kid has potential and desire. Good combo, that. Harry Douglas benefits from Julio Jones’ absence and I like Kendall Hunter for reasons given above. Marion Barber could easily get a short score while the Ravens consistently look to Torrey Smith for a long one. I was totally correct in not ranking Pettigrew last week, but his matchup is much better and they play at home this week. Oh and hey, Damian Williams. Remember the name.
Best of luck. As always, you can tweet me: @petethegreekff